Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!

November 18, 2005

My son Ryan was a HUGE Teletubbies fan. Day after long day I had to be subjected to them all. Dipsy, the green Teletubby who is obviously the fashion dude with his large, obnoxious cow print top hat. Ya. Then there’s Po, she’s the little red one who rides around on a scooter. Huhn huh. Oh and her favorite song is Fi Dit Fi Dit Fi Dit….Ummm WTF? Tinky Winky is the big purple dude and he loves wearing skirts and carries a red purse. I’m not even going there. And of course there’s LaaLaa. She’s yellow and just abso-freakin-lutely loves her bouncy ball. She has a favorite song too and she sings Laa Laa Li Laa Laa Li Laa Laa. Wow. Who wrote that? Such deep, truly meaningful lyrics. Brings tears to my eyes. Oh wait, the tears stem from me driving icepicks in my eyes because I cannot handle the Teletubbies EVER AGAIN. Laa Laa was Ryan’s absolute favorite. Always chanting LaaLaa. And who can forget the Tubby Toast and the Tubby freakin’ Custard. And there’s NooNoo, the vacuum cleaner/dog/cat/dinosaur/anteater type thing that sucks up the Tubby Custard if the retardo Tubbies spill it. Big pink, greasy looking blobs….yum. Tubby Custard, Tubby Custard. Gawd, how I do NOT miss that show. When we moved out here to Calgary, we of course brought a crap load of stuff with us. And guess what? All 4 of Ryan’s talking Teletubbies came with us. Super. After a few years of being thrown, kicked, tossed down stairs, dragged outside, taken rides in the van and had chocolate milk spilled on them, they were a teeny tiny bit worn and slightly dirty. Madison played with them too and amazingly Laa Laa was her favorite as well. Whaaaaaateva. So a few months after we moved into our new home and were settled in nicely, Ryan and Madison come to me as I’m sitting at the kitchen table. They are both standing there looking a wee bit gray and I can tell something is up. I guess since I’m the mom, I should be the one to make the first move and say something. Okay. So I ask them what’s wrong? Something up? They look at each other and then look back at me. Ryan nudges Maddy. I can see he’s given her the “code” to be the one to speak up and tell mom. Okay, well spit it the frig out already. I’m not getting any younger here. So Maddy says, “Mom, we have to tell you something.” I’m thinking, what the hell did you two do now? What got flushed down the toilet? What happened to Matt’s waterbed? Did you cut the phonelines? Break the lamp? Flood the bathroom? Maddy says, “Mom Laa Laa is gone.” I’m thinking, THANK GOD. One down and 3 to go. However, I say, “She’s probably in the toybox, buried under all the other useless stuff.” Now I see both of their faces fall, lips kind of quivering. Oh no. Here comes the high drama of my life. Ryan pipes up and says, “We threw her in the garbage a few days ago because she had brown dirt on her face and we tried to get it off but it didn’t work, so we thought we would just throw her in the trash and maybe we’d get another one but we want her baaaaaaaaaack.” Maddy then says, “And now she’s in the duuuuuuuuummmmmppppp!!!!! And we’ll never see her AGAIN!!!!!!” Both start to bawl. The tears are flowing and they are hiccupping and chanting, we miss Laa Laa, we want her back, she’s in the dump, she’s gone forever. Oh my gawd the hysterics. I get them calmed down, tell them, that…….I can’t believe I’m even offering this….what kind of crack was I smoking……..That we can get a new one if it means that much to them. WHAT? Why did I just say that? I should have said, well serves you right. Laa Laa is at the freakin’ dump now, having shithawks fly above her dirty yellow body and are probably poo-ing on her face. But that seemed……wrong. I end up telling them, that I bet somebody was out for a walk (ya because people go for walks all the time at the DUMP.) and probably found her just lying there and picked her up and took her home and cleaned her up and are loving her as much as they did. Barf-o-rama. Anyway, they seem ok with that and their tears slowly subside and their hiccups became less frequent. The drama is over for now. And to my amazement, they dropped the idea of getting another Laa Laa. I think they didn’t want to replace her because they loved her so much. How sweet. Riiiiiight.
***Note*** Shortly after the writing of this entry, it came to my attention that Laa Laa WAS found! As Amazing and unbelievable as that sounds, it’s true. If you click HERE, you will see for your own eyes, that some other family DID find Laa Laa and brought her home to love her.

Posted by Sassy @ 10:31 pmKids3 comments  

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3 Responses to “LaLaLaLaLaLaLa.”

  1. Holy fuckballs that was hilarious….I’m dying here!!!!

    Laa Laa Li Laa Laaaaaaa!!!!!!!

  2. time for tubby-byebye!!


    lmao- that made me laugh so freakin’ hard. MistaM was a tubby fan too. He really liked Po though, although LaLa was a close 2nd.
    Glad to see Karen saved Lala *snicker*

  3. There is only 1 true NUU NUUU!!!!!

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