Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!

Archive for January, 2006

January 31, 2006

I’m Gonna Be Rich. Rich. Rich.

Did you read that title? I’m gonna be rich, rich rich! Yay! Oh I’m so excited. Rich, rich, rich. Did I say rich? No? Not enough times? Well listen up, I’m gonna be rich!

Wait. Fuck that. No I won’t. Oh well it was worth a shot. I did make some little quips on tee shirts at Cafepress if you’re interested. Maybe someday, someone, somewhere will take pity on wittle ole’ me and buy a shirt. In the meantime, I’m thinking I should keep my day job.

Wait. Fuck that. I don’t have a day job. Shit.

Posted by Sassy @ 11:10 pmUncategorized7 comments  

January 29, 2006

Christmas Is Over.  So Is Halloween.

We arrived home last night at about 10:30pm. We live on a very quiet cul-de-sac and believe me, after 10pm, it’s like a graveyard. Not because there are dead bodies laying around, just because it’s so quiet. Like a graveyard. Am I making myself clear? Good.

So we are approaching our house and Granny Go Fuck Yourself that lives next door has her house lit up like a two dollar whore house. I’m so not kidding. She had her white and blue Christmas lights that she adorns her whole house with, lit up. Oh ya, she also has her Halloween pumpkin lights still up and they were on too. What a lovely treat to come home to. We really don’t need any kind of outside light turned on at our house because freak next door has everything within a fucking 5 mile radius lit up and beacon-ized (not sure if that’s a real word, but I like it, it’s my story and I’m using it). It’s really awful. Oh and to top it off, she still has her Christmas tree up. Up. As in, it’s still standing in her livingroom.

I should also mention, that for the most part, everyone on our street, has a nice yard, people keep their lawns mowed, no garbage around, gardens tended to, all that Beaver Cleaverish kinda crap. And GGFY (Granny Go Fuck Yourself) keeps her yard tidy too. Only one problem though. She also has gnomes in her little cemetary garden out front. I say cemetary because honestly, it does look like a burial has just occurred. She has these brick blocks all around her tree, weird looking flowers in it and her fucking little troll/gnomes. It’s hideous. It really looks like she’s got bodies buried there. It’s creepy. She also has fake flowers in her garden boxes in front of her house. Fake. Who the hell puts artificial flowers outside in their garden? Really, what’s the point?

I will not miss this old woman when we move. Not one little bit. And her adult daughter is just as fucking weird as she is. The old guy isn’t too bad. If I was stuck in an elevator with any of them though, I’d have to kill myself. Or one of them. Whichever.

Posted by Sassy @ 11:28 amUncategorized9 comments  

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