Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
This is a joke right?  Right?

January 5, 2006

Okay, so I’m reading news stories today on msn.com and came across one that caught my eye. Actually my eyes nearly bugged out of my head if the truth be known.

It’s about a woman named Sharon from Britain and she met the love of her life 15 years ago. His name is Cindy (I kind of have issues with a male being named Cindy but who am I to judge? Huhn huh). Sharon has loved Cindy since she first met him all those years ago. I guess they’re soul mates. Thank goodness this is typed because had I been writing this with pen, it would be very very messy and hard to read due to my hand tremors from the laughter that is erupting from my guts.

Let me tell you about Cindy. His personal ad would read something like this: Male, 35, height roughly between 6 1/2 feet to 12 feet, weight about 600 lbs, I love swimming, eating fish and having my belly rubbed. My language skills are a bit lacking but I make up for it with the cool tricks I can do while in the water. I am a good chewer, as I have anywhere from 76 to 98 teeth. Gotta love a nice smile!

Cindy is a fucking dolphin. I know, read it again, because surely your eyes have gone bad. But I’m not kidding. And I’m not on crack. I swear. Not today. Sharon married Cindy. Who is a dolphin. Is anyone listening? What …..there were no good men left in Britain? Sharon MARRIED A DOLPHIN. Not to say that dolphins aren’t super neat mammals that are very intelligent but come on for shit sake. Are they going to consumate the marriage? I mean his dick is anywhere from 10 to 14 inches……BONUS……but ummmm…….EWWWWWW. The gross factor really outweighs the excitement over the penis size. I did read though, that the dolphin’s penis is so flexible you can wrap it around your arm. Sweet Lord.

Sharon wore a white dress and had some pink flowers. Yay. I bet Cindy was impatiently tapping his fin, waiting to blow that popsicle stand and go find some dolphin whores to get it on with. Fuck Sharon and her pink flowers. I kept waiting for a pop up to, well, pop up and tell me this was a joke. A hoax put on by the Associated Press. But alas it’s not. Cindy got down on one knee and kissed her man and then gave him a piece of ass…..no wait, a piece of herring. Oh feel the love. Sharon says it’s not a perverted thing. No it’s not perverted……BUT IT ISN’T FUCKING NORMAL. Sharon did give Cindy her blessing to go be with other dolphins, ‘wink wink, nudge nudge’. Riiiiiiiiiight.

Well I gotta go pee because if I don’t I will most certainly mess up my panties. I can’t stop laughing. You can read the heartwarming story
HERE. Get a snack and enjoy.

Posted by Sassy @ 5:45 pmUncategorized8 comments  

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8 Responses to “This is a joke right? Right?”

  1. LOL I heard this story yesterday and I was the same way…..whatever to get your name in the press:P

  2. That’s the second time you’ve mentioned your panties and you still haven’t been googled with that? WTF?

    Sharon is creepy and weird.

  3. Oh My Gawd! That is so freaking wee todd did!

    To funny!

    Nicole

  4. Oddly, I thought that this was a really cute story….

    Although, perhaps it could be argued that I have some type of preoccupation with dolphins….

  5. OMG…What was she thinking?? Or was she thinking straight?? Not sure what to say but it was funny reading his ad! LOL

  6. oooh! I read about this! I feel bad for the poor dolphin. and I thought *I* attracted freaks… :D

  7. yeah, and we need to worry about the gays destroying the sactity of marriage.

  8. I had the same reaction when I first heard the story. Not only is she a freeze-dried whackaloon, she’s a millionaire to boot!





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