Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Christmas Is Over.  So Is Halloween.

January 29, 2006

We arrived home last night at about 10:30pm. We live on a very quiet cul-de-sac and believe me, after 10pm, it’s like a graveyard. Not because there are dead bodies laying around, just because it’s so quiet. Like a graveyard. Am I making myself clear? Good.

So we are approaching our house and Granny Go Fuck Yourself that lives next door has her house lit up like a two dollar whore house. I’m so not kidding. She had her white and blue Christmas lights that she adorns her whole house with, lit up. Oh ya, she also has her Halloween pumpkin lights still up and they were on too. What a lovely treat to come home to. We really don’t need any kind of outside light turned on at our house because freak next door has everything within a fucking 5 mile radius lit up and beacon-ized (not sure if that’s a real word, but I like it, it’s my story and I’m using it). It’s really awful. Oh and to top it off, she still has her Christmas tree up. Up. As in, it’s still standing in her livingroom.

I should also mention, that for the most part, everyone on our street, has a nice yard, people keep their lawns mowed, no garbage around, gardens tended to, all that Beaver Cleaverish kinda crap. And GGFY (Granny Go Fuck Yourself) keeps her yard tidy too. Only one problem though. She also has gnomes in her little cemetary garden out front. I say cemetary because honestly, it does look like a burial has just occurred. She has these brick blocks all around her tree, weird looking flowers in it and her fucking little troll/gnomes. It’s hideous. It really looks like she’s got bodies buried there. It’s creepy. She also has fake flowers in her garden boxes in front of her house. Fake. Who the hell puts artificial flowers outside in their garden? Really, what’s the point?

I will not miss this old woman when we move. Not one little bit. And her adult daughter is just as fucking weird as she is. The old guy isn’t too bad. If I was stuck in an elevator with any of them though, I’d have to kill myself. Or one of them. Whichever.

Posted by Sassy @ 11:28 amUncategorized9 comments  

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9 Responses to “Christmas Is Over. So Is Halloween.”

  1. I triple dog dare you to take pictures of them, then kidnap one, mail it to me, and I’ll take pics of it, then we’ll mail it to another blogger and so on and so on…….DO IT!!!!!

  2. LOL Yes, dooo eeet. It can be the roaming gnome. haaah.

    However, I am concerned as I think I have her twin living right down the street. Seriously. Their lights aren’t even placed nicely. It’s as if they stood 5 feet away from the intended light landing space and they tossed them at them. While they were blindfolded. And drunk. I’m gonna take a picture of mine. LOL

  3. I’ll trade you your family of next door crack-pots for my neighbors. You see next door to us there is a single wide trailer that houses no less than seven kids, seven kids that are growing up with little to no parental guidance. That is because when actual parents show up (the house belongs to the grandmother, the only one who actually works) it is because they are on furlough (from jail) or they have some “business” to do.

  4. Ever try going gnome golfing?

  5. Ever been gnome tipping? Or pumpkin smashing? Or steal xmas lights…like every other light on the string? Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmmmmmm!


  6. Okay that’s just freakin weird cause we passed a house the other night that still had decorations up.

  7. Sassy— totally take Karens advice. Totally!
    Hey Karen…
    Send the Gnome to me then k??
    We’ll feck it up a lil and return it this summer with pictures!

  8. lol! I’m so fortunate to not have any freaky-tiki neighbors like that. halloween lights in january? WOW.

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