January 28, 2006

Well shit, I’ve been tagged once again by my friend Karen, who apparently was doped up on cold medicine last night. Nyquil is a beautiful thing.

1) When you were really little, what did you want your life to be like as an adult?

I wanted it to be like a movie….you know, a soundtrack in my daily life, lotsa money, a hot guy and a happy ending. Two outta 4 ain’t bad.

2) What misconceptions did you have about sex?

I thought ‘doggy style’ meant you wanted to include dogs into the mix. I was sooooo wrong.

3) What do you dream about?

I try my best to have hot sex dreams about Chad Kroeger. Sometimes that works out.

4) What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do to someone you looked up to?

Tell them goodbye.

5) Describe each of your family members using only one word.

Anthony-Strong
Sean-Funny
Matt-Kind
Ryan-Sweet
Maddy-Blessing

6) Name something you believed as a child, that you now know isn’t true.

That all dogs are boys and all cats are girls. OMG I was a fucking ‘tard.

7) What interest would you like to pursue further?

I’m going to continue writing my book. Might take me 10 years, but better late than never.

If you could take back one thing you regret, what would it be?

Nothing. Abso-freaking-lutely nothing. I’m who I am today because of my past.

9) What are you most thankful for?

Family, friends and the talents that I possess. Oh and pretty panties.

10) Describe yourself in one word.

Only one? Well damn. Okay. Ummmmmm. Sweet.

Okay, all done! Do I win a prize? Something? Anything? At least these questions weren’t written by a 3rd grader.

January 26, 2006

A few years ago, we took a trip to New Hampshire. It was back in 2001, we had all 4 kids with us and for the most part, it was a memorable vacation.


Several times during our said vacation, we’d take the kids out to eat when we got tired of barbequed hotdogs and hamburgers. One evening, our boys were craving KFC. We quickly found one not far from our campsite and went in.


‘Hi, I’d like to order the family bucket of chicken please’. **I swear, me and fast food places do not mix**
‘Hi. We don’t have any chicken’.
‘You don’t have chicken’?
‘Nope’.
‘This is KFC right’?
‘Ya’.
‘Okay, then I’m not following you. KFC stands for Kentucky Fried…………..chicken‘.
‘Right’.
‘Right. So why can’t I order chicken’?
‘Because we don’t have any’.
‘It’s 7:30pm and you close at 11pm, so how can you not have any chicken’?
‘I don’t know. I think we might have a couple of wings’.
‘A couple of wings? As in two’?
‘Ya’.
‘You literally have 2 wings’?
‘Ya, two’.
‘Okay, well, ummm, we’re a family of 6, so two wings is not gonna cut it’.
‘We have some coleslaw’.
‘Riiiiiiiiiiiight, but see even with some ‘slaw, the two wings won’t do us much good’.
‘Well, we’ll have more tomorrow’.
‘Riiiiiiiiiiight, well I’m guessing we’re just gonna move on to the next place because we kinda wanted to eat tonight’s supper, well, tonight’.
‘Ya’.
‘Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, thanks’.


Better tell Colonel Sanders to get off his duff and start pluckin’.