February 8, 2006

Okay, so I’m surfing tonight, not for anything inparticular, just looking around. I was bored. Anyhooo, I come across this website that boasts that you can find true love and they’ll be a millionaire too. Wow.


Sounds too good to be true right? Well, apparently it’s pretty easy and you’ll be in love, rich and married with just a few clicks of your mouse. Look at their ad below:


The online dating agency with a BIG difference!! (Riiiiiiiight)
Having trouble finding Mr or Mrs Right (Well hell ya) ? Always in debt (Hello? Fucking right on.)? Massive overdraft (Lord yes.) ?
Welcome to Marry an Ugly Millionaire - the dating agency created for people like you (Hercules Hercules **insert retard clap here**). We provide a unique dating and marriage service. A service that you will not find elsewhere on the internet (Thank Christ.) . For we are about to solve both your financial problems and your relationship problems with just a few clicks of the mouse! (Oh my gawd, I think I wet my pants!)


Now, I’m sure that is all true. One hundred percent **cough cough**. And I like how they have their different catagories on the side….Men seeking women, Women seeking men, Gays seeking gays, blah blah blah. Oh and let’s not forget ‘Beautiful women seeking ugly millionaires’. Why the hell does he have to be ugly? But I digress. What worries me is their catagory called ‘This week’s specials’. That’s scarwee.


Special for Feb 7th: Jim, a 45 year old virgin who pisses in his underwear when he gets overly excited or eats pizza. He’s tall but has a huge anal beard. He eats his toenail clippings.


Coming up the week of Feb 13th, just in time for Valentines day: Marge, a 32 year old secretary that has a moustache and man hands but has the voice of an angel. She smells like ass though and has crabs. But she’s rich!!!!!!!!!!!!


If the weekly specials weren’t creepy enough, look at the very bottom of their side bar……REJECTS. Rejects. Now if the weekly specials are scary, how the hell terrifying are the rejects going to be?


***Shudder shudder shudder***

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2 Responses to “Weird Crap”

1. February 8th, 2006 at 12:05 pm, Karen Rani Says:

   Oh dear me!

2. February 10th, 2006 at 10:18 am, Pusher Robot Says:

   I feel good just to NOT be “This Weeks Special” !
   If that’s what I have to compare too … i’m one heck of a find!!!