Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!

February 17, 2006

I went to get my nails done a few days ago. I love the nice job they always do. Doesn’t matter which girl I get, they all do a wonderful job and I walk out of there a satisfied customer.

However, there is one little thing I dread about going. I can’t understand most of what they are saying.

All the girls there are Vietnamese. They’re all lovely and very sweet. But honestly, I can’t ever quite make out what they’re saying. I just really suck at thick accents, no matter what they may be. I literally strain my ears, hoping to catch what they say the first time, so I don’t have to keep saying, “pardon”, “what”, “huh”, like an obnoxious, broken fucking record. It never fails though, that they ask me something and I sit there like a frozen turd, waiting to thaw out and be of use to someone. Not sure who wants a thawed out turd or what good it would be to them, but you get my point.

I did, however, manage to understand a few selective questions this particular time. I was asked how many kids I have. That’s easy, four. Whew. I was asked if I worked outside the home? Well I sometimes have photography jobs. Gosh, I’m on a roll now baby! Then, out of the blue, it came. That mysterious question…..or was it a statement? Fuck.

I sit there and look around, hoping that maybe, the ceiling will cave in and then everyone will be distracted by that commotion, rather than the stupid, moronic look on my face. Shit, what did she say? I do not want to look like an idiot, so I figure if I smile and kind of giggle and say, “ya”, then that would be a sufficient enough answer no matter what the question. Oh no no no, it wasn’t. Not by a long shot.

Kim looks at me a bit oddly and then I realized, that that was not an appropriate response to her question. I mean what if she just asked me, if I like to smear dog poo on my neck and perform the chicken dance? I had just giggled, blushed and said yes. Gawd. Idiot I am.

So as I’m sitting there like a dumb twit, she askes again. Know what the question was? She asked me what I want for Valentine’s day? Super. And I had just said, yes and laughed stupidly. Gee I don’t look like a tool.

I snap out of my stupour and smile and tell her what that I don’t really expect anything for Valentine’s day and that the homemade cards my kids will give me, will be enough yada yada yada. She smiles and then Leanne comes over and they start talking Vietnamese. Then they burst out laughing.

Lovely. I bet Kim just told Leanne what a fucking tit I am and that she thinks my shirt is fugly. I just know it. But I’m paranoid like that, see. It’s not like I made as ass out of myself or anything. Not like they’d have any reason to laugh at me. Riiiiiiiiight.

On a bright note though, my nails look hot.

Posted by Sassy @ 2:27 amUncategorized11 comments  

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11 Responses to “Huh?”

  1. You pick color!

    I like going to Chinese buffet. Always get interesting words that way.
    What you drink?
    Petsi ok?
    Sure, petsi…er…Pepsi is ok

    They can usually handle anything that has to do with food or service but then one day my father-in-law asked what feed they get for the tv since it was showing a Chinese show, he wondered if it was cable or satellite. Poor waitress … She had that blank stare for what seemed an eternity then she smiled, giggled and said “ya” and quickly scampered away.

    so at least you know it works both ways :)

  2. For many years at work, long ago, before modern technology made us more “efficient” (this said very sarcastically); we had two way radios with which we were dispatched. Everyone with a radio heard what everyone said. The interesting part was that the dispatcher was of Korean descent. Her accent was, well let’s just call it colorful. What this really meant was we couldn’t understand a damn word she said. Everyday it was the same thing.
    Dispatch-Garbled message over the radio
    Recipient-“Where was that?”
    Dispatch- garble garble
    Recipient- “What?”
    Dispatch- Garble garble garble
    Recipient- “Who?
    And on and on until
    Recipient-“I’ll call you on a land line…”
    Finally came the day when the dispatcher got a new job and moved to a different department. Hooray, we rejoiced. The replaced her with a lovely woman who had a German accent thick enough to cut with a knife. Oh, joy!

  3. It’s so funny that the act of laughing and saying ‘ya!’ is the universal code for “I have no idea what the hell you just said…”…lol!

  4. It’s like that Seinfeld episode where Elaine convinces George’s Dad to go with her because he speaks Vietnamese and can translate. She always thought the ladies were talking about her and making fun of her, and she was RIGHT!

  5. omg, it IS just like that episode

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  7. LMFAO I cannot understand them either. I had taken to wearing my ipod and then just smiling if they directed something at me when I had no idea what they are talking about. Luckily, I’ve now found a really great guy who speaks perfect un-accented English. I always request him when I go in now. *admires nails* :)

  8. lol that’s funny but I don’t like getting those who can’t form perfect english. Don’t get me wrong accents are great but if you are gonna work in the USA an english speakin country learn how to talk our language you know. It makes things so much easier.

  9. I have only received 4 manicures in my life. Only once did I go to a place where everyone in there was Vietnamese and like you, was clueless the entire time I was there. I’m afraid to go back because I don’t know one place around here where the employees are not all foreign and since I can’t understand English properly most of the time, I don’t dare go in those salons!

  10. ROFL…they totally laugh at all the white chicks. My friend speaks several languages but is not Asian and she said whenever she goes to get her nails done, she listens to them crack on everyone, including her. But she thinks it’s funny.

    I busted my hairdresser saying I was too picky in Spanish. My Espanol is rudimentary at best but I still understand a lot of it. I should have told her that I wouldn’t have been so picky if she was a better stylist lol

    And I tipped really good, too, the friggin’ beeyotch

  11. I prefer the ones who can’t speak a lick of English versus the ones who want to know every detail about my life… and then some….

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