Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Tissues Anyone?

February 22, 2006

I swear I go to the weirdest grocery store. Well not so much the grocery store per say but the people that shop there. Oh and Betty the cashier. However, this story isn’t about Betty.

Matt and I are at checkout # 5, packing our groceries and behind us are the couple we had seen earlier while shopping. The wife is wearing a pink and white nightgown with blue Nikes. That bitch was stylin’. The husband is short, dressed in a suit jacket and sweatpants. Ummm nice combo buddy. But besides their lovely attire, were their sunny dispostions.

They are packing their groceries while the young cashier is still ringing stuff in. All of a sudden the husband shreaks to the cashier, “WHAT IS THIS”? And what was ‘this’ you ask? Two Kleenex boxes…….well wait, that’s not entirely true. They were actually ‘no name’ brand, but tissues nonetheless.

The cashier looks up and asks the husband what’s wrong? The husband, very irrate now, THROWS the 2 tissue boxes at the casier. OH. MY. GAWD. One hits him in the shoulder and one hits him in the head.

Matt and I are looking at each other and trying not to laugh. Not at the cashier but the husband. Oh but we did end up laughing at the cashier too, not because he was hit in the head with a tissue box but because he was so unfazed by the whole incident. Below is the exchange of words that took place between the husband, wife and cashier.

Husband: What is this?

Cashier: Calm down sir. (The cashier says all of this in a slow, monotone, unexcited, bored voice)

Husband: You need to watch what you doing!!!!!!!

Cashier: Sir, I can’t deal with you while you’re freaking out.

Wife to cashier: You need to stop freaking out right now!!!!!

Cashier: I’m not freaking out ma’am.

Husband: You need to pay attention!!!!!! You put those on my order!!!!!! They are not mine!!

Cashier: Sir, I rang them in by mistake. They are .55 cents each. Do you want me to take them off your order?

Wife to cashier: You need to stop freaking out right this minute!!!!

Cashier: Ma’am, I’m not freaking out.

Husband: I will freak out! You charged me .55 cents each for tissues!!!!!! That’s unacceptable!!

Cashier: Sir, I can’t deal with you freaking out.

Husband: I will freak out. This is not right!!!!

The husband continued on a rant under his breath over the fucking tissues. It’s a dollar and some change buddy for 2 boxes of tissues, suck it up. Oh you know what though? He probably needs that extra money because he and his wife obviously spend oodles of money on their fashions. Ya, so refund the lunatic his $1.10.

Posted by Sassy @ 10:29 pmUncategorized11 comments  

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11 Responses to “Tissues Anyone?”

  1. When you told me this on the phone, I nearly peed myself – the monotone cashier vs. the ranting couple were freaking hilarious. I can’t wait to fly out to see you and your crazy-ass grocery store in August!

  2. Wanna hear a confession?

    If I am super PMSing, firmly believing that I look like a troll and feeling ridiculously self-indulgent…I will go to the grocery store for the sole purpose of seeing “uglier” people than me.

    And in between I feel like such a jerk for doing it.

    Wow, that so totally sounded PostSecret :-p

  3. hahahahaha OMG what the hell is wrong with people. I would have flipped if i had still been a cashier and how did this one keep his composure. lol

  4. where can i find a store that has that much fun and excitement?
    i would be there everyday just for the entertainment value alone!
    hey kids…lets go to the store and watch stoopid people…
    okay dad, kewl!

  5. My problem is is when I run into people like that at the store we are usually related. I am sooooo glad I no longer work in the service industry. People are truly strange and I haven’t the dispostion to be monotone with them. After about a year serving the public I’m ready to climb the nearest clock towere with a high powered rifle and cull the flock…

  6. Honey there is never a dull moment at those stores you go to.lol

  7. Honey there is never a dull moment at the stores you go to.lol

  8. You have much better self control than I do. I would NOT be able to hold in my laughter.

  9. scary and funny at the same time!

    I don’t suppose they sell anti-psychotic meds at the grocery store, but they should.

  10. Well I am never shopping at that store again.. I will go to Penny’s store… rofl… Gotta love the people in our city eh Sas…

  11. LOL love these store stories;)

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