Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
It’s big, brown and ugly.

March 1, 2006

No it’s not a turd. Although I suppose they could be big, are often brown and most definately ugly. But I’m referring to my suitcase.

I don’t even remember when or where I got this shit monster, but I’ve used it on the last few trips I’ve taken. I call it my big, brown, ugly, ’70′s’ suitcase. And I have a theory that goes along with it.

I’m a slightly paranoid person. Paranoid about alot of things, not to the point of me being better off institutionalized (hmmmm) but bordering on freakish I suppose. People often tell me, that I should consider purchasing new luggage. Some have even offered to buy me new luggage, as in, they will foot the bill. I vehemently decline each and every time. Why? Well I’ll tell you.

I always worry that some ‘airport thief’, you know the type *shrug*, will come along and see my suitcase and steal it…..that is, if I had a pretty, glittery, pink or black with gold, fancy luggage set. I see all those classy, expensive looking sets and drool will spill from my lips, but I am strong and will not let their glossy, come hither appearance, make me weak and buy them. Nope. Not me.

I figure my shit box with a zipper is so hideous, in appearance, texture and size that one look at it and the would be luggage thieves will run, shreaking for their very lives. So I deny myself the luxury of having beautiful luggage. I like my clothes, panties, bath products and extras and I don’t want some stranger enjoying them. So if I disguise them in an ugly, shitty, hideous suitcase, then people will figure that my clothes must be crappy too and thus, leave it alone.

I know, I’m a freak. But that’s life. And that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Wish me a safe flight!

Posted by Sassy @ 1:00 pmUncategorized10 comments  

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10 Responses to “It’s big, brown and ugly.”


  2. I think my dad still has one of those suitcases!! ROFL

  3. LMAO….I thought that was mine for a second there! But mine is liter brown. It doesn’t look that bad. LOL

    Have a fun a safe trip!!

  4. I’m wish you…what’s the point of spending a ton of money or something you have to trust a freakin’ airline to keep tabs on?

    Anyone that laughs at your luggage? screw ‘em…

    tell ‘em it’s vintage. lol

  5. Hey whatever works to get your cute little ass to Ontario!!!!

    2 more days!!!!! Till I see you anyways!!

    Can’t wait to see you and your hidious suitcase!!! LOL

    Love ya!

  6. I know there’s logic in there…and it’s logic I agree with….lol

  7. I can’t wait to see you – have a safe flight and expect a good time at my place!

  8. Talk about lugging your shit around with you…

  9. LOL…
    That’s EXACTLY like the luggage my parents have!

  10. And then outa the left field stands….
    Actually, ya have a great sense of idea there about not getting ript off.
    But, let me suggest going one extra step…
    I use a suitcase that Ma passed down to me, and it also is as ugly as any. No self respecting thief is gonna bother with it for two reasons.
    #1 It IS ugly….UGLY!
    #2 It appears big.
    Not as big as a trunk,….but, well, dimensions dropping in now…
    1.5 ‘ x 2.5″ x 3′

    And WHY, you ask would this be so much better?
    (Here’s where you ask….)
    Because you can sit on it while waiting in some of the most gawd-awful lines!

    Not bad, eh?
    Fer an old toothless fart, that is.

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