March 1, 2006
No it’s not a turd. Although I suppose they could be big, are often brown and most definately ugly. But I’m referring to my suitcase.
I don’t even remember when or where I got this shit monster, but I’ve used it on the last few trips I’ve taken. I call it my big, brown, ugly, ’70’s’ suitcase. And I have a theory that goes along with it.
I’m a slightly paranoid person. Paranoid about alot of things, not to the point of me being better off institutionalized (hmmmm) but bordering on freakish I suppose. People often tell me, that I should consider purchasing new luggage. Some have even offered to buy me new luggage, as in, they will foot the bill. I vehemently decline each and every time. Why? Well I’ll tell you.
I always worry that some ‘airport thief’, you know the type *shrug*, will come along and see my suitcase and steal it…..that is, if I had a pretty, glittery, pink or black with gold, fancy luggage set. I see all those classy, expensive looking sets and drool will spill from my lips, but I am strong and will not let their glossy, come hither appearance, make me weak and buy them. Nope. Not me.
I figure my shit box with a zipper is so hideous, in appearance, texture and size that one look at it and the would be luggage thieves will run, shreaking for their very lives. So I deny myself the luxury of having beautiful luggage. I like my clothes, panties, bath products and extras and I don’t want some stranger enjoying them. So if I disguise them in an ugly, shitty, hideous suitcase, then people will figure that my clothes must be crappy too and thus, leave it alone.
I know, I’m a freak. But that’s life. And that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Wish me a safe flight!
Posted by Sassy @ 1:00 pm • Uncategorized •
RSS feed for comments on this post.
TrackBack URI
March 1st, 2006 at 10:56 am, MzThang Says:
ROFLMAO!
March 1st, 2006 at 11:14 am, angiejdurocher Says:
I think my dad still has one of those suitcases!! ROFL
March 1st, 2006 at 12:45 pm, Sally Says:
LMAO….I thought that was mine for a second there! But mine is liter brown. It doesn’t look that bad. LOL
Have a fun a safe trip!!
March 1st, 2006 at 3:08 pm, Webmiztris Says:
I’m wish you…what’s the point of spending a ton of money or something you have to trust a freakin’ airline to keep tabs on?
Anyone that laughs at your luggage? screw ‘em…
tell ‘em it’s vintage. lol
March 1st, 2006 at 4:09 pm, Nicole Says:
Hey whatever works to get your cute little ass to Ontario!!!!
2 more days!!!!! Till I see you anyways!!
Can’t wait to see you and your hidious suitcase!!! LOL
Love ya!
Nicole
March 1st, 2006 at 4:14 pm, Mike Says:
I know there’s logic in there…and it’s logic I agree with….lol
March 1st, 2006 at 6:38 pm, Karen Rani Says:
I can’t wait to see you - have a safe flight and expect a good time at my place!
March 2nd, 2006 at 5:16 am, ozymandiaz Says:
Talk about lugging your shit around with you…
March 3rd, 2006 at 10:19 am, Kim Says:
LOL…
That’s EXACTLY like the luggage my parents have!
March 7th, 2006 at 2:48 pm, boneman Says:
And then outa the left field stands….
Actually, ya have a great sense of idea there about not getting ript off.
But, let me suggest going one extra step…
I use a suitcase that Ma passed down to me, and it also is as ugly as any. No self respecting thief is gonna bother with it for two reasons.
#1 It IS ugly….UGLY!
#2 It appears big.
Not as big as a trunk,….but, well, dimensions dropping in now…
1.5 ‘ x 2.5″ x 3′
And WHY, you ask would this be so much better?
(Here’s where you ask….)
OK
Because you can sit on it while waiting in some of the most gawd-awful lines!
Hmmmm?
Not bad, eh?
Fer an old toothless fart, that is.