Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
The cookie said so.

April 2, 2006

We had Chinese food for supper tonight. And as usual, we all cracked open our forture cookies afterwards. Mine said, ‘you will get the recognition you deserve very soon’. Really? Super, because I want it very soon.


I then got to wondering, what exactly will I be recognized for? That I scrubbed the bathroom floor 2 days ago? Or that I had to clean vomit up yesterday (don’t ask)? Or am I going to be famous for being one of the worst cooks on planet earth?


What exactly am I being recognized for? And by whom? I want to know and know now. Yes, I sound like a petulant, spoiled child but really, I don’t want to wait any longer for my recognition. I think I should get it like now. Sounds good to me. Hey I took a phone message for my husband and 2 for my son. Am I being recognized for being a great receptionist (that gets NO pay by the way)? Or that I had to explain 3 times to the jerkoff who called looking for Tim Horton’s that this was NOT Tim Horton’s and that he has the wrong number and to stop calling and that even if he calls me like 68 times more times, it will still not be Tim Horton’s. Maybe it’s that I tripped on the way to the mailbox and the guy across the street saw me and tried his darndest not to laugh aloud. That’s being recognized isn’t it? Geez, I just wish I knew what my recognition is and when I’m getting it. The suspense of it all is driving me crazy. Or maybe I’m just crazy. Wait. I think that’s it.


I did open another cookie and it said, ‘you’re weird and people laugh at you. Alot’. So, maybe I shouldn’t take those things too seriously. Anyway, I’ll let you know if anyone recognizes me for anything. I’ll be sure to give you all the juicy details.

Posted by Sassy @ 4:56 amUncategorized10 comments  

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10 Responses to “The cookie said so.”

  1. What the hell are forture cookies? Ha. I’m such a smart ass.

  2. Mr. Bug told me that those fortune cookies mean nothing unless you add the words “in bed” at the end of the fortune… They are so much better that way… well, sometimes they are…
    ;-)
    LadyBug

  3. that is correct…you always have to use the implied words!

    there is the fortune of course that my daughter got (she’s 11 so we leave off the implied words, of course) … the fortune said …

    “Oops, wrong cookie”

  4. Forture Cookie: any cookie containing a piece of paper received at the end of a chinese meal. Opening said cookie will always result in some stupid message, yet the pain involved in trying to ignore said cookie and leave it unopened is unbearable. Thus the cross between FORTUNE and TORTURE … resulting in FORTURE cookie.

  5. it’s true, you are supposed to add the words “in bed” to the end of every fortune, so if anyone says “great blowjob!” or “that was the best lay of my life” in the next few weeks, you’ll know that you’ve finally gotten your due recognition!

  6. lol…

    yes, always add “in bed” at the end of the sentence.

    glad to have found your blog!

  7. I’ll never forget when I was recognized by the County Commission for something or other. I had to change my disguise.

  8. Yeah, I always add “in bed” when reading fortune cookies too.

    Once after a particularly bad day at work I went out for Chinese. The cookie I got was empty! But I just had to laugh and really felt a lot better after that.

  9. Cool guestbook, interesting information… Keep it UP
    » » »

  10. best regards, nice info
    » »





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