Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Off the cuff.

April 6, 2006

Warning….this is all off the cuff, random kinda crap. It might, quite possibly, be uninteresting and make you die of boredom. So you’ve been informed.

I just checked my local weather online and this is what it said, ‘rain ending this evening and a 60% chance of rain’. Well you just told us that the rain will be ending tonight, so I just assumed, that meant it would be raining. Now you’re saying after the actual rain, we might have a 60% chance of getting another batch of rain? Not sure. Maybe I’m just tired.

I can’t get warm. I even took a hot shower and that didn’t help. Hmmmm. Maybe if I put some clothes on after my shower, while sitting here typing, that might help. Dunno.

I have just consumed about 9 little chocolate easter eggs. It’s not even freakin’ Easter yet. Not that I really care. I can eat chocolate anytime, anywhere. Well I probably wouldn’t eat it in a public bathroom but other than that, I’m good to go. Oh I just ate my 10th.

My son asked my husband and I this morning, when we were going to have meatloaf again. He purposely looked at me and shook his head and then pleaded with his eyes to his father….meaning, don’t let her make the meatloaf dad but I would really like to have some soon but only if you make it. Little shit. I’m thinking I could maybe try making it again. I mean, the last time, was like over a decade ago. Yes, yes, I was forbidden to ever make it again but come on. Criminals get out of jail and get a second chance. Why can’t I get a second meatloaf chance? I’m just sayin’.

I went to the grocery store the other day and I was waiting in line and noticed the cashier. Oh shit, it was Betty. Betty the retarded cashier. I started to panic. She was going to holler at me and ask me why I would want ‘bag’ and if I like ‘monies’. Why oh why? Why do I get her when all I want is a relatively normal cashier, who rings my items through with minimal conversation or if they do talk, they make fucking sense. I was placing my groceries up on the counter and praying with all my might that she would get swallowed up while ringing in the old fat guy ahead of me. Was that so wrong? Well she didn’t get sucked into any black hole but another cashier came over and told her to take her break or whatever and that he was taking over her till. I wept. Betty grabbed her cash and headed out to her spaceship and off to crazypantsland. There really is a god.

Okay now I’ve consumed 14 chocolate eggs. I really need to stop because I feel some unpleasantness now in my stomache. It’s starting to hurt. Like I got punched. Not as bad as when Karen punches me in the face, but almost as bad. What the hell is wrong with me? I just ate another one. Karen, come and punch me in the face.

Well I suppose I should get off my ass and do something productive. Fuck. I ate another one. I’m not normal. Clearly. I need to throw these damn chocolates right out the window……well maybe after I eat another one. Okay, I’m off to do something so fun and so exciting, I’ll probably have an orgasm. Wait. That was a big, frigging, fat lie. The only thing involving a load for me right now, will be putting laundry in the washer. Okay, now that I’ve just grossed my own damn self out, I’m leaving. I will be back though. Miss me. Oh. I ate another one.

Posted by Sassy @ 5:11 pmUncategorized5 comments  

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5 Responses to “Off the cuff.”

  1. Between you and Miss Ann Thorpe, the internet is going to think I have an anger problem, FOR FUCK’S SAKE.


    Maybe, as my friend, you could advise me to get help, you SHOWOFF!

  2. very funny! forbidden to make meatloaf? i think you deserve another shot but understand there consequenses if you fail again.

  3. Look, I made thru the whole damned thing and didn’t die once, came close but I’m still here. At least those little Easter egg chocolates make you work a little taking that friggin foil off.
    i say to hell with it and when no one is looking make a meatloaf. If it fucks up throw the evidence away before anyone is the wiser. I love making meatloaf mutch more than eating it, getting to squish all that funkey feeling stuff between my toes…um…I mean fingers. I wonder why no one likes my meatloaf?
    And don’t make fun of crazypantsland, I have family there…

  4. LMAO.. so Karen beats u up hey??

    easter chocolate mmmmm… altho I haven’t had much luck with chocolate lateley. hey, did you see on my blog that easter was cancelled this year?? **snort**

    and as the unofficial acting mayor of crazypantsland I take complete offence to your statement!

    haha have fun in the mundaine, its what keeps the world turning!

    luvs and kisses

  5. Well maybe I should come visit crazypantsland…..seems like some fun might be had…LOL!

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