Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Ummm Happy Easter?

April 13, 2006

It’s been a week from hell as mentioned before. My poor daughter is still sick, going on a week now. The little wiffet can’t keep anything down and I’ve cleaned up more vomit than is humanly fit. Not that any vomit is fit for humans but you get my drift.

I’m thinking our Easter will be pretty low key, not that we’re big party people when it comes to bunnies and eggs, regardless if we’ve got sick kids or not. And speaking of bunnies and eggs, ummmm, well read on.

My 10 year old gets off the bus around the corner from my house. It’s about a 2 minute walk or so and he tends to dilly dally. He usually comes up the back deck and puts his face up to the glass on the patio doors and waits for me to let him in. When I go to the door today, his face is lit up like a Christmas tree, and I know he’s bursting to tell or show me something.

I open the door and he holds out a grocery bag and wants me to peek inside. So I do. I see 2 Kinder Surprises and a smashed up cookie. Well I’m assuming it’s a cookie. I take out the Kinder’s and ask who gave him those? He tells me his bus driver gave them to him. I’m thinking that’s really nice of her to hand out a little treat to the kids for Easter. I peer into the bag again, and I’m swearing to you, that the smashed up cookie, had a slight bunny shape to it. I ask Ryan if the bus driver gave him the cookie too. It appears to be a ginger cookie in the shape of a rabbit, I’m not even kidding. I bring the bag up for a closer look. And when I say closer, I mean I practically inhaled it. I love the smell of ginger. There’s only one slight problem with this scenerio. It’s aroma is not ginger. Nor is it a cookie. It’s FUCKING DOG SHIT.

I, with the speed of lightening, drop that mother fucking bag and in a high pitched shrill voice unrecognizable to anyone I’m sure, ask Ryan where he got that bag? He looks at me like I’m sprouting an extra head or I’ve grown horns. He then tells me, he happened to find the bag on the way home. OH MY GAWD. You’ve picked up a bag that someone has picked up their dog shit with and then tossed it on the ground. What’s the point of picking up the poo that spewed from your dog’s ass only to throw the bag on the ground? Sheeh. By this time, I’ve grabbed Ryan and practically ripped his hands off to get him to the sink and scrub his hands. I think I may have worn off the top layer of skin. I then wash my hands and try not to vomit. Remember I talked about vomit above? Well I sure as hell did not want to clean up my own. I tossed the eggs out and informed Ryan that he may not want to pick up bags or any other containers from the sidewalk or surronding areas, EVER AGAIN. Sweet Jesus.

Happy Easter indeed. I will never, ever crave ginger cookies again. Barf-o-rama.

Posted by Sassy @ 10:32 pmUncategorized7 comments  

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7 Responses to “Ummm Happy Easter?”

  1. Be glad he didn’t want you to REACH inside the bag before you looked. Isn’t this an old Cheech and Chong skit? “Looks like poo. Smells like poo. Tastes like poo. Glad I didn’t step in it.”

  2. bunny-shaped dog poo? how festive!

  3. Poo just follows you everywhere eh Miss Sassy…

  4. omg! hahahaaa..
    now THATs some funny shit right thar!

    erm, happy easter (??) hun!

  5. OMFG. I would have yakked all over. I cannot STAND the scent of dog shit. BLEEEEH!

  6. LOOZER////

  7. best regards, nice info

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