Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
I’m here.

April 19, 2006

Well long time no see. I have a few things to rant talk about, so I might as well get busy with it.

First, I’d like to mention that my 5 year old daughter was admitted to the hospital on Friday. She had not been able to keep anything down for almost 10 days and was so weak and frail that it was scary. She was suffering from a migraine and was severely dehydrated. Needless to say, we were pretty worried about her. She’s now home and has recovered nicely. We are so thankful to the nurses and doctors at the Children’s hospital. Everyone was wonderful to us.

Now speaking of the hospital…..while in the waiting room, there was a scary unique family there. I had the pleasure of sitting near the father of the said family. He was wearing a strong cologne, I think it’s called au de vodka. And if you think by ‘strong’ I mean fucking gross and smelly, you’d be right.

He was dressed really nice too. By nice I mean, sweaty sweat pants, dirty old, filled with holes t shirt (so we got to view his cute, fat, white beer belly) with some gravy and/or pit stains, no socks on his feet and his feet inside dirty old work boots that he didn’t even bother to lace up. So the vapours from his paws wafted up near the surface and made their way over to me. Super. He had a loud gravelly voice that annoyed not only me but the other parents in the waiting room. I noticed several others rolling their eyes on many occassions.

His wife was right out of a Paris runway……..well she was tall and thin. But I guess that’s where the similarities end. And end abruptly. She had on dark blue splash pants with a white racing stripe down each leg. Her shoes were big chunky high heels, straight outta 1995. She had on a long black shiny jacket with a hood on it. Her hair may have been nice at some point but I’m guessing it had been days, perhaps weeks since a brush has gone through it. Her voice was not gravelly but equally as annoying as her man’s.

They had 2 boys with them, one was about 11 and the other was 3. The older boy was well behaved and seemed polite and kept to himself. However, the 3 year old, well, he was a handful let’s say. He touched everything and everyone. He even came over to us and picked up my daughter’s barf bucket. Ummmmm hello? His mother was standing right there and saw us sitting there and saw Maddy’s bucket and yet, she let him saunter over and pick it up and beginning to carry it away. Yes, it was clean but still.

There was a couple there with a newborn baby, only a few days old and you could tell they were first time parents. They gave everyone dirty looks just for breathing. So little terror rushes over and starts touching the baby and the baby’s seat and the baby’s bottle. The parents are mortified. Their faces frozen in shock that little monster toddler is going insane and his parents just look on. Finally drunk super dad starts yelling at his 3 year old. But he doesn’t get up. He is laying back, reclining as much as possible and the only thing missing is his flask. Maybe it’s in his pocket. Dunno.

The mother finally starts chasing the toddler around, trying to keep him from tormenting anyone else’s baby. Her clompy high heels weren’t too annoying, banging all around the waiting room. *Rolls eyes*. Finally they were called into the room to have their kid’s forehead stitched up. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

I get a call today from my son Matt from school. He’s telling me that he is going to see a play with his English class. Okay. Dandy. Then he tells me his teacher needs to have my permissioin so he can attend the play. Huh? He’s 18. Why would they need to call me? So the teacher gets on the phone and explains that her class is going to see a play. I tell her, that’s fine, not a problem. She then says that they are going ‘off campus’. Ya? Okay. So? So is that okay with you? Ummm ya. He’s 18. He can move out and rent an apartment, go to a bar legally, have a driver’s license, have sex, smoke, eat pizza until his colon screams. So if he wants to go to a play with his English class, then I’m thinkin’ he can. No questions asked. But whatever.

Oh totally off topic of anything about my life, Tom CruiseI’mAScaryCouchBouncingFreak and Katie HolmesI’veLostMyDamnMind had their alien baby today. Yipee. Apparently Tom is going to eat the placenta or maybe the baby. I forget which. Happy parenting.

Okay, I must go to bed to have sex sweet dreams and get caught up on my rest. Sigh.

Posted by Sassy @ 12:15 amUncategorized8 comments  

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8 Responses to “I’m here.”

  1. I’m soooo glad the wee one is doing better. Terrifying stuff there.
    Hospital waiting rooms are always interesting places. If you want to see what the bottom of society provides sit in a waiting room long enough and you’ll become a big fan of euthanasia.

  2. awwww poor baby girl. :(
    Glad 2 hear shes feeling better and
    Dunno whats worse:
    The guy in the waiting room or Tom Cruise and his whole thing. Yay for the baby, I’m not a total bitch but.. *shudder*

    and lmao about Matt’s teacher. Thats some funny shit. Guess she had to legally cover her ass but thats funny!

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  4. what is it with waiting rooms? I always run into the grossest of the species in waiting rooms too!

  5. Ok, you are killing me with the Tom Tom the alien freak man!!
    but oh so true! Eating the placenta..ok planet Scientology, beam is assssssssss…up!


  6. omg the waiting room can’t imagine that but its true wait long enough and you see the worst in people! LOL on the teacher for crying out loud hes 18…and well Tom is another story all together…freakazoid!

  7. Aww….hope she’s feeling 100 percent soon!

    I have SEEN parents like those! WTH is up with that? People wonder why I’m antisocial. Fuck ‘em.

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