Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!

Archive for May, 2006

May 31, 2006


Mysterious. Happy HNT.

Posted by Sassy @ 4:52 pmUncategorized25 comments  

May 28, 2006

Whaddaya doin’ wah?

Here in Canada, we’re known for saying ‘eh’ alot. I don’t really say it, but I sure hear it alot even in my own home. I, however, have never heard of anyone using ‘wah’ after every single sentence, whether in Canada or the US or Mars.

A few years back, while working at a paint/wallpaper shop, I met an old lady called Ester. She was a funny, odd bird and would always come in with her husband, who followed a few steps behind her and never said much at all. She, on the other hand, never shut up.

She was famous for purchasing a bunch of wallpaper to ‘do her diningroom’ but within days, would always return it. The only thing she ever bought and didn’t return was a utility knife for .79 cents. This is my first conversation with her ever:

Me: Good morning, can I help you find something?

Ester: Whaddaya doin’ wah?

Me: Pardon?

Ester: Nice day wah?

Me: Sure. What the hell is ‘wah’?

Ester: I want to wallpaper my diningroom wah.

Me: Your diningroom wall?

Ester: Ya my diningroom wall wah.

Me: Okay sure. I’m thinking she is saying ‘wall’ weird and not pronouncing it correctly. But then why would she be saying wall after every sentence, even after she already said wall correctly just now?

Ester: I want to have some flowers wah.

Me: Ummm okay. She’s creepin’ me out and I’m trying not to laugh.

Ester: Whaddaya got wah?

Me: Let me show you. I’ve got better sentence structure than you.

Ester: I bought some wallpaper at another shop wah. But I didn’t like it wah. The flowers weren’t big enough wah.

Me: Okay, so you want big flowers? How ’bout a big slap upside the head?

Ester: Ya wah.

So after spending almost an hour with Ester, pain in my rear, she finally decided on some big ass floral wallpaper. About 5 days later, she was back with her husband and her 10 rolls of wallpaper.

Me: Hi Ester, how are you?

Ester: I gotta bring this back wah.

Me: Why? The flowers aren’t big enough? Is your ass big enough for me to kick?

Ester: Ya the flowers are big wah. But I don’t like the color wah.

Me: Oh. Well I think we have a similar print in a blue.

Ester: I wanna see it wah.

Me: Sure. I wanna see you spontaneously combust.

So she decides to exchange the peach paper for the blue. Guess what? Three days later she was back to torture me wah.

Me: You’re back.

Ester: Whaddaya doin’ wah?

Me: Just about to stab you in the face wah stock shelves.

Ester: I gotta return this wah.

Me: Ummm why?

Ester: I don’t think it’s gonna match wah.

Me: Ummm okay. Someone please put me out of my misery.

So after I gave her a refund, she left, only to come back a week later so we could do the whole thing over again. This went on for weeks until I accidently shot her with an arrow. Nah, I’m kidding. I just punched her in the face. I wonder what ole’ Ester is up to now wah?

Posted by Sassy @ 2:26 pmUncategorized9 comments  

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