Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Loser and random mish mash.

May 5, 2006

Look at my keychain, isn’t he adorable? I love ‘Happy bunny’ and his little sayings. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I will apologize right now for this mish mash of random crap but you’re gonna have to deal mmmmkay?

I was walking home with Maddy from school yesterday and there was a young couple walking towards us. The mom was pushing a stroller with a toddler in it and dad had a golden retriever on a leash. Dog shits on the grass beside the sidewalk. Dad does what people with dogs who shit on the grass are supposed to do…bends down to pick it up. But mom doesn’t know he’s stopped to pick up a load of shit and keeps on walking. I mean she’s ahead of him but not like she’s sprinting away with their offspring and he’ll never see them again. Dad starts whining and when I say whining, I mean a full out and out, little kid whine, ‘cept he’s about 30. “Why are you waaaaaaalking so far from me? Waaaaaaaait!!!!!! Waaaaaaaait!!!! No faaaaaaair” His voice is all nasally and he sounds like a petulant 2 year old. WTF? Mom turns around (I just had to turn around to see this) and she’s standing there with hand on hip, giving dad the death look. He’s six feet under baby with those daggers. He picks up the poo and literally stomps off towards his wife and child. I’m thinking, perhaps she should let the toddler walk the dog and put big baby daddy in the stroller. Sheesh.

I went to the grocery store yesterday and lucky me got Betty the pyscho nice cashier. She’s always such a freak pleasure. I had brought Maddy with me and pushed her in the stroller so I could bring more stuff home had she and I just walked and not used the stroller. So as I’m shopping, I just fill up the back of the stroller as opposed to getting a shopping cart. I place all my items on the counter and Betty is staring at me. I’m wondering why she’s not starting to ring everything in. I’m getting worried now. There’s gonna be a shit storm of freakishness now. Gawd I want to punch her in the face love her.

“What you got in stroller”?

“Nothing, it’s all on the counter now”.

“How you know”?

“Huh? I know because I just bent down and took everything out of the stroller and placed it on the counter”.

“You steal”?

“What? No I’m not stealing. You can plainly see the back of my stroller. It’s empty of groceries”.

“I see something”.

“Yes. A grocery flyer. I’m pretty sure they’re free. Plus it’s from about 4 weeks ago, so I’m certain it’s no good anymore”.

“You want bag”?

“Yes I want bagsssssssssss. Five of them”.

“I am gonna give you 5 then”.

“K”. Omg the torture.

I hadn’t seen her in forever, so I was hoping she’d gotten fired or gone back to planet imfuckedinthehead but I guess no such luck.

As I’m leaving the store, 2 women stopped me to admire the giant fake flower I had bought (I’m using it in my photography session with Maddy today). The older of the 2 women asks me if she can pick it up to see it better. I tell her sure. She asks me politely how much I paid for it and where it was in the store. I tell her. Then she gets weird. She holds the flower up to her head and says, “hahahhahaha can you imagine putting that in your hair? Your head would fall off. Hahahahahhahaha. I’m not going to put that in my hair. No way. But it’s pretty. Pretty pretty pretty. But not for your hair”. I’m in the Twilight Zone right? I’ve been abducted by aliens and taken to Betty’s planet. Someone rescue me now. Please.

Later in the afternoon, I decided to watch some of Dr. Phil. And can I just say, there are some messed up people out there. There’s a chick on the show, who’s bf, shot her in the face, point blank and now she’s got no right eye. I mean she’s freakin’ lucky to be alive. Okay, here’s where it’s messed up to me. She still loves him. Huh??????????? I mean if the person you’re with forgets to take the garbage out on a regular basis or has smelly feet, well perhaps you can get past all that. But he shoots you in the face? Ah that’s a big, motherfucking deal breaker in my book. She said she wants help. Ah huh.

Oprah had a lady on yesterday, that won a million dollars for her chicken stuffing recipe. She prepared it on the show and she put frozen waffle sticks in the stuffing. Wow. I can barely toast the frozen waffle sticks and this woman makes a recipe so good, using them, she’s set for life. I’m doubting I’ll ever win any kind of cooking contest. But people often frequent my blog when searching for valuable information about meatloaf. Lord knows I’m the best at that.

Okay for all you freaks that shit your panties and search for ‘shit my panties’ and end up here, happy Friday and get some new underwear. For all of my ‘sane’ (and sane being used loosely….muaahahahahah) readers, thanks for stopping by and have a super weekend!

Posted by Sassy @ 9:03 amUncategorized13 comments  

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13 Responses to “Loser and random mish mash.”

  1. Oh my I am about to pee my pants lmao…..love Betty stories….and the flower then the stuffing stories to follow what a hoot….Can I go shopping where you do?

  2. Awesome post I love them bunnies also. Have a wonderful weekend!

  3. oh & go see my blog for the word veri I got this morning seeing as I know you LOOOOOVE them too!

  4. Sane & loose….

    One of those words has been used as a descriptive for me before. lol

    Oh Man! I seriously wanna come shopping with you sometime! I think we’d have the giggles so bad poor betty would be saying
    “You puffy wacky tobaccy crazy ladies?
    You steal?”


    K, I’m gonna go now & FYI the strangest google search I’ve had to date was for Margaret Trudeaux (spelling???) panties….
    I was #1 on the list too.
    Go figure.

  5. Cute keychain! :D

    OMFG…you have one of those at your store, too? WTF? We have Lascivious the clerk who fondles my vegetables and gets a hard on. Then there is Elmer Fudd who giggles like a freak through the whole transaction. Next up, Holy-fuckin-shit-what-is-wrong-with-your-hair girl. I swear to fucking god, I have GOT to get a picture of this chick. You won’t fuckin’ belive it. Then there is the weird one like the one you mentioned.

    This is why I only go when I have to. I choose to order my groceries online and then pick them up at the side of the store. Freaks.

  6. OMG this post had me laughing from beginning to end…….you’re so funny Sassy!

  7. I think it is a law that the more psycho cashier at a store has Tenure. Either that or they intimidate thier bosses with their soul destroying shoplifting suspicions.

  8. OMG … not only am I giggling from your post, your readers comments got me going too!
    I happen to work with OMG what happened to your hair girl and it ain’t pretty!!! :)

  9. Bahaha! These were great!

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