Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!

May 10, 2006

Who knew that a little white circle on your gums could be so painful? I have a canker sore and it hurts like hell. Hell I say! Canker sores are not related to cankles, so please don’t confuse the two.

I’ve been faithfully swishing with salt water because that’s what everyone and their dog has told me to do. I remember having one years ago and also swished with salt water back then. But so far it’s not been working and I’m stomping around like a big baby, complaining to anyone who will listen. And that would be: NOT MANY. However, not one thing I’ve read thus far mentions anything about salt and/or water. So who started that rumor?

Anyway, I decided I would search a ‘home remedy’ for canker sores. Boy I’m sure glad I did that. Here is what I can do that might work to help lessen the pain and/or get rid of it. They also list things I should avoid to prevent them from reoccurring.

Gargle with hydrogen peroxide. I might as well swallow gasoline.

Take some ear wax and place it directly on the canker sore. What??? Ummm I don’t normally save up my ear wax, I’m fresh out, so I would have to borrow someone else’s. I’m sure as shit not doing that.

Take a teabag, some goldenseal root (Ya like I know what that is) and a bit of milk of magnesa and make a paste. What the fuck? Do I look like a chef? No, no I do not. I can barely make toast. Like I could manage making a paste. Pfffttt.

Keep the bowels regular to prevent toxic buildup. I didn’t shit in my mouth for godsake. I. do. not. have. toxic. buildup.

Do not use other’s toothbrushes. Are you fucking kidding me? Shit, now I have to return the neighbor’s OralB soft bristle.

Soak your tongue in whiskey. Ya, if I did that I wouldn’t care about the canker sores or any toxic shit build up in my mouth or that I’m using the neighbor’s toothbrush. I’ll likely be out dancing on the picnic tables at the park.

Swish with a bit of iodine. That cannot be right. Like I’m really about to do that.

An old time remedy was to smash up a spider and place it on the sore. Let’s see I’m an arachnophobiac so this will never happen IN A MILLION YEARS.

Cook a fig in milk and place it in your mouth. Remember above? About the paste? Ya I’m not cooking anything.

Fenugreek can be used. Fen u who? Huh?

Use the inner bark of a papaya tree like they do in Fiji. K, lemme go call my travel agent.

Get someone to punch you in the face. Ya, I’m gonna go with that one.

You know what? I’m sticking with the salt water. Booouh yaaaaaaa.

Posted by Sassy @ 1:58 pmUncategorized7 comments  

RSS feed for comments on this post.
TrackBack URI

7 Responses to “Ouch.”

  1. when i was growin’ up we always used alum (you know the stuff that makes Tom pucker up so he has to try and suck Jerry up with a straw?) I was young so i don’t remember how truly effective it was but always seemed to help.

  2. Check if your toothpaste/Mouthwash conaint SLS (Sodium Lauryl Sulfate) Most of them do.

    SLS causes/aggrivates cancer sores and can prolong healing. I’d suggest switching to a toothpaste like Arm & Hammer that doesn’t contain SLS


    there are lots of great ideas on that link hun.
    I really suggest the Mylanta, baking soda or sage.

    Hope you get over that hun. Ouch!

  3. Ok, did I just sound like a total looser there or what???

    haha I’m a geek!

  4. Have you tried clove oil? It’s what my dentist reccomended.

    Something about blogs brings out the armchair medical doctors in all of us :)

  5. I’m a frequent cank-sufferer, and I could never get straight whether it was a LACK of vitamins or too MANY vitamins that cause them…but your remedies made me laugh.

  6. Ok…call me really odd, but I have always used hydrogen peroxide – I put a capful in a glass with about four ounces of water and swish, spit, then down about a gallon of water after to rinse out the sweaty armpit taste, but the canker sore does go away.


  7. Alternate a baking soda paste and salt water, it will go away soon … those other things are freakin hillarious!!

Add to BlogEngage


Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Canada License.



Try Not to Choke On It

My Amazon.com Wish List


Development and Hosting by:

Visit Swank Web Style for All Your Blog Design Needs

Site Meter