Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
I’m not doing lesbian.

May 12, 2006

Remember my canker sore woes here? Well there are apparently more ‘remedies’ available to me. However, I’m drawing the line at doing lesbian. I like lesbians. I mean who doesn’t? But the first remedy sounds……..well, I’m not even sure how to explain it. Read on:

Lady’s mantle: Drink an infusion of lady’s mantle to soothe the canker. Listen, I’m sure an infusion of a lady’s mantle might be a turn on to some but I’m just not into lady’s mantles. Nor drinking an infusion of it. Thanks anyway.

Thuja 9: 5 gr. on waking, once a fortnight. I…….what? What the hell is ‘thuja’??? And a fortnight is 2 WEEKS. I’m hoping this beeyotch of a canker sore is gone way before that. So no, not doing this.

Arsenicum album 7 and Hydrastis 7: 2 gr. at about 6 PM. Each remedy on alternate days. Is this a joke? Arsenicum sounds a little too much like arsenic to me, so I’m passing on this bitch too. And what in gods name is hydrastic? And I have to do it at 6pm? Well, I have plans so fogeddaboutit.

Burdock: Ummm I used to get burdocks stuck to my pantlegs when I was a kid out hiking with friends in overgrown fields. I’m not sure what they want me to do with a burdock, but I’m not putting it in my mouth. Cankersores hurt and I’m guessing sticking burdocks in one’s mouth would join along in the same category, as in THIS FUCKER HURTS IN MY MOUTH.

Okay I’m done researching cankersores. I’m going to keep pouring salt directly on it and doping myself up on Advil for pain and dip my tongue in whiskey.

Posted by Sassy @ 4:42 pmUncategorized3 comments  

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3 Responses to “I’m not doing lesbian.”

  1. I had to look up Thuja … it’s a coniferous tree of the cypress family.
    well…i looked up Hydrastis, it’s Goldenseal … an herb in the butter cup family … but … get this …
    Because Goldenseal contains potentially toxic alkaloid compounds, it should be used with caution and not used on a long-term basis. In high doses, goldenseal and some of its components can cause fatal respiratory failure.

    I’d say between the trees and the burrs … someone is trying to kill you …

    i’d be more inclined to carve the sore out with a dull knife!

  2. Keep up the good work

  3. Keep up the good work
    » »

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