Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!

May 18, 2006

Meat. That’s what you get at a deli. And lots of it. All different kinds of meat. Whatever your little heart desires. My 2 teen boys and my oldest son’s gf all work at the same grocery store. My boys work in the deli but in different sections. My oldest works in the meat department of the deli. He often, as they all do, tell us stories about the people that come into work. This particular story had us laughing.

Customer walks up to the counter and this is the conversation. ***Note, customer was over 55 and dumb.***

Son: Hi can I get you something?

Man: Hi, yes. I want meat.

Son: Okay. What kind of meat would you like?

Man: I dunno. Meat.

Son: Weeeellll, there’s many, many kinds of meat, so can you tell me what you would like?

Man: I dunno. Cut me some meat.

Son: Ummmm, well, I kinda need to know what kind of meat you would like. Listen fucker, name a meat and I ‘ll cut it, or I can wrap your cane around your head. Pick one.

Man: What’s that over there?

Son: Bologna.

Man: Okay. Gimme that.

Son: Sure. How much would you like?

Man: I dunno.

Son: Okay, maybe 100 grams? How ’bout I shove that bologna roll up your ass AND wrap your cane around your head? Hmmm? Hmmmm?

Man: Sure I guess.

Son: Okay sir, anything else?

Man: Yup.

Son: Okay, what else would you like?

Man: More meat.

Son: Right. Which kind of meat would you like? Maybe you’d like a honey ham upside your head along with the cane?

Man: What’s that over there?

Son: Cooked ham.

Man: Ya I want that.

Son: Again, I need to know how much of that you’d like? And would you like it shaved or sliced?

Man: Shaved or sliced?

Son: Yes, shaved or sliced.

Man: What do you mean?

Son: Do you want it sliced or shaved…sliced as in slices, shaved meaning it’s really thin and not in slices. Is this guy for real? He had half his brain removed right? I’m on Candid Camera right? Dude I’m bein’ Punk’d right?

Man: Gimme sliced.

Son: Great, how much?

Man: Three slices.

Son: Three slices? Ooooo goin’ all out. Three fucking slices of cooked ham. Big spender.

Man: Oh wait…how much is that 3 slices gonna cost?

Son: Give me one second and I’ll tell you. Okay it’ll be $1.19.

Man: Oh geez I don’t want to pay that much. Take a slice off.

Son: Ooookay. It’s now .72 cents. Wanna take out a loan for that?

Man: Yup I go with that. Don’t wanna go overboard. That’s good.

Son: Super. Hope you don’t choke on all that meat you bought sir.

I love that my kids have the same sarcastic type of humor as me. Love it.

Posted by Sassy @ 7:27 pmUncategorized10 comments  

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10 Responses to “Meat.”

  1. Maybe he wanted some pudding. (obscure Pink Floyd The Wall reference….)

  2. Oh my fucking gawd. I say something when people are being fucktarded. I have no patience for it anymore. I don’t care who hears me or what I say. I cannot handle fucktards anymore. lol

  3. Great! That is why I could never do a job where I had to be nice and polite to dumb people!

  4. I used to work in the deli/bakery of a grocery store. I think that guy must have a lot of relatives here. Granted this was the only store for many miles in the rural south so you can just imagine the mentally anemic folk I would get. I think in general, though, many people become so in public. I have worked many public sector service type jobs (waiter and such) and find I could only do it for so long before I wanted to climb a clock tower with a high powered rifle and start taking people out at random.

  5. Mmm, meat.

  6. LOL I want to visit that grocery store……I want meat come on thats what he wanted;)

  7. OMG this is just priceless.lol

    I just posted to my blog this morning too about one of my sister’s co-workers.lol

  8. LMAO. Thanks for this!

  9. LMAO!!! oh my GAWD!!! too flippin funny.

  10. lol! actually hopefully he DOES choke on it! old people can be so damn annoying!

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