Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Yeeeeeehaaaawwwww.

July 13, 2006

Ride a cowboy, save a horse…that’s how the saying goes right? We went to the Calgary Stampede this year, actually twice. We took our darling children on Sunday, Family Day. And then hubby and I got to go alone on Monday evening. Yes, you heard me correctly…alone. Anyway, here is a run down of the excitement on our adventure on Sunday.

To start our day, I rise at 6am and prepare all what we need to take, which apparently is almost everything but the kitchen sink. I wake everyone else up around 7am since our goal was to leave the house by 7:45am. Anyone arriving at the gates before 9am, gets in free. Hey, saves us $30 bucks!

I pack extra clothes for the kids because I have visions of one or both of them puking on themselves after going on a ‘spinny’ ride. I truly like to be prepared. I pack ice water, snacks, wipes, paper towels, toilet paper (hey you don’t know if the bathrooms will be out or not), camera, sunglasses, batteries, cell phones, spoons, cups and you know, the list really goes on, so I won’t bore you further with it. Both hubby and I had to wear backpacks to carry it all. You’d swear we were going out into the wilderness for a month as opposed to going out for the afternoon.

We decided to drive downtown this year and pay for parking. Last year we rode the C-Train but honestly, once you pay for two ways, it’s just cheaper to pay for parking and be done with it. Plus the C-Trains are so bloody packed during Stampede days, it’s really not worth it to be squished all up in someone’s grill especially when they have disgusting, rank body odor. And there’s no where to run. Yuck.

We arrive downtown, find a very close parking lot, walk about a block and arrive by 8:30am. Plenty of time to get in free. We’ve pre-warned the kids, that we will get to see and do all that you want so please don’t bombard us with ‘we want, we want, we want’ the minute we get through the gates. Ya, scrap that.

Our first stop was to buy the credits for the rides. You get a little bank card type thing that has electronically put all of your credits on it, so there’s no hassle of ripping of ticket stubs. But holy freakin’ Batman, they’re expensive. We bought 110 tickets for $100. So the first ride we went on (the pic of me at the top is taken on that ride), we esentially paid over $20 for the 4 of us to go on it. When you break it down, it’s truly scary. Enjoy dear children because next year, your father and I are taking a cruise. *Insert evil mom laugh here*

We then took the children to the kiddie ride area and let them decide which ride they wanted to try first. They both eyed the new ride called Badland 4×4 or something to that effect. So we wait in the fairly long lineup and just when it’s their turn, the guy working it says to Ryan, ‘you’re too tall, you can’t go on it’. He’s literally like an inch over the height and we did not notice that or we wouldn’t have tortured ourselves standing in said line. I look at the guy, like, come on, can’t you make an exception, meanwhile the people behind me are getting antsy because I’m holding up the line. Worker dude says no. Maddy trots off and gets in with some kid and at that same time, Ryan runs off crying.

Now, if, say we were at home and he ran off crying, well he’d most likely be in his room and pretty easy to find unless his room as acquired a new hiding spot that I’m not aware of. However, he ran off crying at The biggest outdoor show in the world. So, my friends, that’s not good. My stomache is now turning to mush because I can’t leave Maddy on the ride and not be at the exit gate when she’s done. Hubby seems less concerned than me but then again, I’m a freak mom and he’s a dad. He says to me that he’ll wait over by the bench, that he’s sure Ryan didn’t go far and will come back momentarily. Ah huh.

Maddy gets off of the ride and asks where her brother is? I inform her that he’s acting like a 12 year old, spoiled girl and she raises her eyebrows at me. We go join hubby at the bench but by this time I’m almost to the point of having a meltdown myself and tell the hubster that he’s got to go looking for our son in the giant sea of people. He goes off and within a couple of minutes has Ryan with him. Geez, nothing like giving your mother a heartattack kid.

I decided that I probably shouldn’t have a freak out session in front of thousands of people but lemme tell ya, it sure was tempting. We talk to Ryan and give him the lowdown. Either he gets a new attitude or we ship him home on the bus (which we totally wouldn’t do but that’s all we could come up with as we’re so brilliant and all). Hubby tells him to look behind the bench, in the dirt of the planted flowers and hope to hell there’s a new attitude waiting there and he’d better grab it and put it on. So after about 5 minutes or so, Ryan decides he’d better put on that new ‘tude and move along with the day. We promised the kids we would be diligent in checking all rides to make sure both would be able to go on. Lord help me.

We let them go on a few more rides and then decided to take a break since it was so hot and we all needed a drink. I needed crack Advil too. We find a spot in one of the buildings and sit and have some ice cold water and I look at my watch. Holy shit, it’s only 9:40am. We told the kids we’d stay until 6pm. That’s like a million hours from where we are now. I start to panic and wonder how I’m going to survive for the rest of the day?


The next few hours of the day went on without too much trouble until we went back into the Round Up Center to look around. Miss wanted to get a little bunny tattoo (airbrushed on), so she and I stood in the line while hubby took Ryan to walk around. After she got her pink and purple tattoo (gosh she’s such a rebel at 5 1/2), we met up with the guys. Maddy is walking a little bit ahead of me and the boys are off to my left. I lose sight of Miss for about 3 seconds and then I look to my left and don’t see hubby or Ryan either. I look back in front of me and my daughter has vanished. Okay, I’m really going to freak now because this is now the second time one of our children has gone missing today. In a crowd of hundreds, if not thousands of people, it’s a little daunting to say the least. I’m turning all around and am thinking, we are going to pack our shit up and move to the mountains, away from all civilization and children snatchers. Yes, children snatches. You know damn well that my mind has raced to the next logical step and that’s that she’s been kidnapped.


I frantically pull my cell phone out of my bag and am dialing my husband to tell him the news and that we have to now call 911 and we have to get a search party out asap! As I’m waiting for the first ring, I see my husband through the crowd. I rush over and am just about to yell at him to call the police and I see my daughter standing next to him. All 3 of them are standing there, wondering why mommy is sweating, hair frazzled, pink cowboy hat sitting lobsided on said frazzled hair and out of breath.


“What’s the matter with you?”


“Ummm hello? Our daughter was kidnapped!”


“She’s standing right here. Are you on drugs? Did someone spike your slushy?”


“No. I was just calling you. Because she was kidnapped. I couldn’t find her.”


“Ummm she was with me the whole time. I think you need to see someone. Professionally.”


“Shut it. Let’s get on with this fun filled day shall we?” Someone please pass me the crack pipe.


We pass the rest of the day with more rides (no vomit sessions, thank God for small miracles), lunch, more rides, taking in exhibits, more rides, more snacks and then it hit. The dark clouds rolled in around 3:30pm. Up until that point, it had been hotter than the halls of hell, no breeze and the sun seemed way closer to the earth than it was the day before. But now, there were big black clouds threatening the day. Hubby took the kids on one more ride, a water ride,while I waited, watching all of our stuff.


They get off of the ride and then we see the lightning and hear the big booms of thunder. Ryan is terrified of storms, so he starts to panic and we start to calm him down. We took shelter under a cement stairwell, sitting in the back of one of the 2 golf carts parked there. It poured rain, hailed, and thundered for over an hour. So there we sat, with about 20 other people, waiting out the storm that never seemed to want to end. Maddy wasn’t bothered by it in the least and she decided she would dance in the rain. You can see her HERE. You’ll notice that the people in the background are running for cover. Not my child. Oh and you can hear the fucking shit make my ears bleed noise music in the background. Ah huh. We endured that for 90 frickin’ minutes.


Finally the storm let up and we decided we’d take the kids on one last ride to use up the last of the ticket card. But to our surprise they both wanted to leave. Amen! Of course Miss just had to have one more treat, so she got a candy apple, covered in white chocolate, carmel underneath and oreo cookies smashed up on it. She’s quite enjoying it HERE. The damn thing is almost as big as her head.


As we’re leaving the Stampede grounds, the skies open up again and the storm begins once again. We’re soaked by the time we get to the truck but at least we can head home and start drinking heavily get dry.


Posted by Sassy @ 12:24 pmUncategorized10 comments  

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10 Responses to “Yeeeeeehaaaawwwww.”

  1. Hilarious! We are going to Calaway Park instead. I love that place.

  2. Jodi…funny you should say that…hubby actually said, you know what? Next year, we’re buying the kids a Calaway Park pass and skipping the Stampede with them! LOL!

  3. So funny! I feel that way about my kid too! Everytime we go out shopping and Taylor walks away to another isle (naturally when I turn my back for one micro-second) I think abduction! Call police!

    I am a totally anal retentative schizophenically challenged keeper of the child! Must have eyes on child at all times..is my mantra, when out with her!

  4. LOL, glad you made it home alive. The dance in the rain is cute. The story-telling is even better. ;)

    As for your pic up top, wow, you are amazingly gorgeous! And btw, I loved the evil mom laugh. *evil grin* hehe

  5. You had me at “Ride a cowboy”
    Are all of your family outings kinda of like and NBC movie of the week?

  6. hahaaaa!!
    omg Maddy is too cute for words!

    All in all sounds like it was at least an adventure.. a good time.. you know?

  7. I know it may sound dorky, but the Stampede is one event I’ve got on my list of things to see.

    By the way, great pic. :)

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