July 16, 2006
See these pictures? They’re related. How? Let me tell you.
We decided we would take the kids for a nice, leisurely Sunday drive. The day was warm and sunny and a lovely summer breeze was blowing as we drove away from Calgary for the day.
The kids were cheery, I was cheery, hubby was cheery. We drove for about 40 minutes out into the country and pulled off to a small town for a bite to eat. Hit the road again about half hour later and were happily on our way.
We turned down an old dirt road and the prairie scenery was wonderful. Bright yellow canola fields, wheat swaying in the wind, deer jumping in the fields and cows lazily grazing in the green grass.
We go down a quiet dirt path and come to some old, long ago used train tracks. Hubby stops the truck and we all get out to look at the pretty fields of flowers and head over to the tracks. My husband lays on the tracks so of course I take a shot. Then I decided I would lie down on my stomache to get a different perspective of the track.
I carefully lay down as not to jab my knees into the rocks on the track. I snap a couple of pictures and am happy with the look of them. I slowly get up and my hand brushes my capri pants and I feel something sticky. I bring my hand up and look at it. It’s covered in black, oozing goop. Freakin’ tar. I look down at the tracks and see a giant blob of mushy, baking in the sun, sticky, gooey tar. Then I look down at myself and see that my whole crotch area is now covered in the shit.
“Oh my frikkin’ God! It’s all over me isn’t it?”
“Ummm yes it is. Well mostly in your crotch area”
“Well that is just wonderful now isn’t it?”
“Maybe you should look before you lay down on train tracks.”
“Ya that’s really helpful.”
“I’m just sayin’.”
“What am I going to do?”
“I don’t know. I have some lacquer thinner in the truck.”
“Lacquer thinner? You want me to put that on my crotch? What if it eats away my flesh?”
“Well not directly on your crotch obviously. On your pants. And it’s not going to eat away your flesh. Stop being so paranoid.”
I decided to take off my pants right there. There was no way in hell I was letting him ‘wash’ my pants, especially near my privates, with lacquer thinner while they were on my body. Oh hey, did I happen to mention these were brand new capri pants? No? Well yes, they were.
So I’m standing by the truck in my panties and a tee. My kids are laughing their asses off and asking me if I’m going to spend the rest of the day in my underwear? Ummm I don’t think so. Hubby tries washing them with the lacquer thinner but it’s not helping as the tar has now hardened. I have no other clothes with me. We are miles and miles and miles from anywhere that may sell pants. So with no other option, I have to put the pants back on with clumps of hardened tar, which are now damp with the lacquer thinner, which by the way, has a very strong smell. My kids tell me that my crotch smells bad. Gee thanks.
We get back on a main road and about an hour later find a Walmart that is open for another 10 mintues. We dash in so I can buy new panties and a pair of capris. As I’m looking for the things I want, the old guy that was at the door when we came in, is making an announcement which made me laugh out loud.
“Good evening Walmart shoppers, it’s now 5:52 and our store will be closing in…………in……………….ah……………..in………………..twelve minutes.”
Wow, they close at 6:04. Whatever.
I get my clothes and quickly dash into the bathroom to change into my new purchases. Oh that was a slice of Heaven after sitting in damp, lacquer thinner soaked, tar encrusted pants. So how was your day? Click HERE to see more pictures.
Posted by Sassy @ 11:42 pm • Uncategorized
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July 16th, 2006 at 10:51 pm, Osbasso Says:
I’m sorry–that’s freakin’ hilarious! But at least you still got some great pictures out of the afternoon!
July 17th, 2006 at 12:02 am, Kentucky Girl Says:
Hehe…haha…that totally sounds like some shit that would happen to me.
What’s that smell? *snort*
July 17th, 2006 at 5:43 am, ozymandiaz Says:
Decidedly less lacquer thinner soaked and tar stained.
July 17th, 2006 at 8:35 am, Tara Says:
Only you Sassy, could fine tar in alllllll that space!!! LOL
oh well at laeat you got some great pictures of the kids, and heh I would not have even thought that laying in the tracks and taking a piture would be something so interesting to look at.
July 18th, 2006 at 8:27 am, Christie Says:
You were nominated for a RFS Blog Awards! Go get the button and tell all your friends to vote for you!
July 18th, 2006 at 12:29 pm, Webmiztris Says:
I’m trying so hard not to laugh…really!
plus your google ads are for moist towelettes and antibacterial wipes…lmao!
July 18th, 2006 at 8:58 pm, Tracie Says:
The tar part sucked (and I have to admit that I was actually laughing out loud while reading–sorry)
But, the pictures turned out great, so it kind of worked out.
July 19th, 2006 at 6:54 am, Pamela J Weatherill Says:
Great post ‘n’ pics!