July 31, 2006
I’m pretty sure I got a memo one time saying that when a chick turns 39, she gets money and diamonds. And by pretty sure, I mean I
was drunk and stoned heard it on the news or something. I’ll patiently wait while you run to the banking machine and the diamond store. *Tapping foot impatiently*
I guess now that I’ve turned 39, I’m supposed to ‘hold’. Hey everyone I’m 39 and holding. Holding onto what? That I do not know the answer to. If and when I figure it out, I will hold a press conference and you’ll be the very first to know. I can tell you care.
Anyway, my birthday was fairly uneventful as far as birthday stuff goes. As I mentioned a few sentences ago, I didn’t get any money or diamonds (as per that memo or the news or the licquer) but I’m hopeful that when I wake up in the morning, my doorbell will ring because there will be a delivery man standing on my doorstep holding my money and diamonds that you’ve all so kindly sent to me. I’ll thank you in advance. Thank you.
Okay, I’m off to bed to get ready for the first day of my last year of my 30′s. Hopefully it will start off really well because you’re all sending me money and diamonds. I smell a hint. Or maybe it’s just poo vapours. I’m not sure. Anyway, I’ve said money and diamonds 863 times, so that means my wish will come true. Yay I’m getting money and diamonds tomorrow. I love that you all love me that much to send such extravagant gifts (money and diamonds, geez do I really have to keep reminding you?), it sure means alot.
Money and diamonds, money and diamonds, money and diamonds…………………….