Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!

Archive for August, 2006

August 30, 2006

You want special?

What’s a trip to Burger King without a fooked up order? And some moronic staff to go with it? Nothing baby, nothing.


I took my oldest son and his gf to Wally World last night to do some shopping and on the way home we stopped at BK to bring home some grub for ourselves and hubby. We placed our orders, waited, and left without incident. Or so I thought.


We get home and as I’m taking things out of the bag, my husband says his order is wrong.


What’s wrong with it?


Well the poutine has no gravy on it.


No gravy?


Ya, no gravy.


Well that sucks. I’m going to call them and let them know.


Tell them to deliver some gravy to me.


I’m pretty sure they won’t do that.


Oh and my burger is wrong.


Figures.


I called and the phone rang about 15 times and noone answered it. I hung up. Waited a few minutes and called back. Again noone picked up but this time there was voicemail, so I left a message and asked if the manager could call me back in the morning. Left my name and phone number obviously.


The phone rangs this morning at 8:30. Goes like this:


Hello?


Hi, I calling from Burger King. I got your message. I’m looking for Iman.


Iman? I’m pretty sure I’m not a tall, gorgeous, black super model married to David Bowie.


Yes.


Ummm, well I was the one who called you last night and left the message. I’m Lechelle. Because Iman and Lechelle practically rhyme.


Oh okay. What the problem?


My order was messed up. I ordered poutine and there was no gravy on it. Gravy is a key ingredient to poutine.


You order special?


Pardon? Special?


Yes, special.


No, I just ordered a Whopper meal, with poutine. Nothing special really.


Okay what was wrong?


It. had. no. gravy. on. it.


Okay, that it?


No, my husband’s burger was supposed to be a Whopper, with cheese, only lettuce and onions. It had all the other stuff on it.


What stuff? The special?


I’m not sure what ‘the special’ is. It wasn’t anything special. Just a Whopper with only lettuce and onions.


Okay and what was wrong?


It had everything on it. Didn’t I just frigging say that?


Okay, what wrong? What’s wrong? Apparently you have the mental capacity of a stale donut.


I ordered poutine. It had no gravy on it. I ordered a Whopper with only lettuce and onions and it had everything on it. I didn’t want everything on it. I’m being Punk’d right?


You have your receipt?


Yes I sure do!


You want to come in now?


At 8:30 in the morning? Ummm no. I ate BK less than 12 hours ago, so I’m good thanks. But next time I do want BK, I’m going to bring my receipt and I want a free meal.


Okay, I give you free meal. Damn freakin’ right you will.


So your name is Iman? I write that down.


Yup, sure Iman. You spell that L-E-C-H-E-L-L-E. Forget anything you may have learned in phonics, phonics sucks and doesn’t work.


Okay, you come in with receipt and I give you free. I’ll give you free, a free punch in the ass.


Great.


Posted by Sassy @ 2:35 pmUncategorized12 comments  

August 26, 2006

I’m flat flat flat……..

……well not me per say but my hair. Okay, not so much flat as straight. I was finally able to purchase my Chi flat iron on Thursday and I’m in love. In love with my iron, my hair, myself. It’s all about me today and my long, straight hair. If you click my profile pic, that’s what my hair looks like straight. And I’m demanding that you click it because as I just mentioned, it’s all about me. *Insert big toothy grin*


I do have to say, since we’re talking about me today, that I am fairly intelligent. Sure, I have my ‘Jessica Simpson’ moments, as my teens so lovingly tell me, but overall, I’m decent in the brain area. As I was looking over the instructions for my flat iron, it occurred to me that the person/persons responsible for writing them, must have decided that they would include things, that if by chance, a retarded monkey bought the iron, they’d know what to do or not do.


And what do I mean? Well, for instance, they instruct me not to put the hot flat iron on my skin or in my eyes. Gosh, now that just ruins my Saturday night plans. Asswipes. I so wanted to give myself third degree burns and maybe even pop my eyeballs out with the hot iron. So much for that.


It also states, that I shouldn’t give it to my child when it’s heated up to 5000 degrees. No? Really? That seems a bit excessive. I mean come on, if my young child wants to hold mommy’s scalding hot, give you 200 degree burns flat iron, they should be allowed. I say go for it.


I should also not use it while sleeping. That’s a typo right? Honey, don’t mind my flat iron in between us in the bed, but I was going to get into a deep, relaxing sleep and then flat iron my hair so I won’t have to do it when I’m vertical and alert in the morning. Saves time really.


It says I can’t use it outdoors. Damn it to hell. I wanted to take it hiking in the mountains with me and you know, plug it into a grizzly bear’s ass and straighten my hair. My whole weekend is ruined now!


I’m also not allowed to use it while bathing. Again, planned on saving time, but pffftttt, they’ve put a damper on that scenerio too.


I guess folks, I’ll just have to use it while awake, not in water or in the woods and be sure not to burn my children or the elderly with it. Bummer. But the bright spot is, I have silky straight hair, something I’ve wanted for a very long time. Right now, as I type this, I’m flipping my fabulous hair all around. Remember, it’s all about me today. That should be your Saturday motto.


PS…I just noticed, that you could buy a pink one! How lovely is that? And proceeds go to Breast Cancer research. I totally would have bought a pink one if it were available to me. *Wink*





Posted by Sassy @ 2:21 pmUncategorized9 comments  






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