Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Shunday’s Shinanigans (say with a spitty lisp).

August 12, 2006

As my husband and son are driving along the other day, they stop at a red light and my son looks over and the woman stopped next to them is eating. Now you’re wondering, what is the big deal about that? Lots of people eat and drive right? Okay, but she was eating a cob of corn. A freakin’ corn cob. Who the hell eats corn on the cob while driving? Hey honey, can you boil some corn? I wanna take it in the car and eat it while driving. Be sure to slather it with butter and salt and then the melted butter is gonna drip all over my work suit. Ya baby.

I was driving my hubby’s truck Friday night and his window was down. So when I arrived home, I hopped out of the truck and left the window as I found it. Down. It rained last night. Where’s yer sign?


Hi, is this Stacey?

No I’m sorry you have the wrong number.

Is this 2**-****?

Yes, it is but you were either given the wrong number or it did once belong to Stacey but it doesn’t now.

No I’m quite certain I was given the right number.

Okay, so that leaves option 2. It used to belong to Stacey but it doesn’t anymore.

Let me check my files.

Ummmm, no, I’m not waiting. Even if your files say it’s Stacey’s number, she’s either moved or she’s an undercover clown and doesn’t want to be found. Now I’m hanging up.

But I………………..Buuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Get a grip wrong number people. Sheesh.

I went to Harvey’s for burgers for hubby and I the other night. The guy waiting on me was surely not from earth or he was on something. Something being mind altering.

I place my order and with my combo, I asked for a rootbeer. I can see it printed out on the receipt. I pay him and wait for my food. As he’s preparing my burgers, he’s talking to me, I guess. He’s not really looking at me but I’m the only one there, so I’m assuming his speaking to me.

I’m tired.

Oh ya? Long day?

I went to BC.

Okay. Have fun?

I’m gonna buy a new car soon.

That’s cool. He’s not even acknowledging the questions I’m asking him. Moron.

I’m tired.

Ya you said. You get off of work soon?

I think I’ll buy some paint.

Sure. Fruitloop.

He finishes packing up my food and pours one drink. I say nicely to him, that I also ordered a rootbeer with my combo. He tells me I didn’t. Ummm listen, fecker, I did. So pour it.

I don’t think you did. I didn’t charge you for a rootbeer.

Yes, you did, it’s right there on the receipt.

No that’s someone else’s.

Pardon? It’s on my receipt. So you’re saying I paid for someone else’s pop and they got it and now I’m not getting one?

No. I’m not sure.

Pardon? You’re not sure of what? It’s on my receipt….a medium rootbeer. I can see it printed in black ink on the white receipt. So I’ll have it please.

I’m tired.

Oh my Lord. Help me. He looks at the receipt for a full minute and finally says, that I’m right. No shit Sherlock. I’ve said that already. Holy stoner.

I’m going to get off of my rear now and cook some bacon so I can have a BLT minus the L of course and hopefully I won’t drip mayo on my pink tee. Wish me luck.

Posted by Sassy @ 10:28 amUncategorized10 comments  

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10 Responses to “Shunday’s Shinanigans (say with a spitty lisp).”

  1. That’s it. Calgary is FULL of complete morons. Minus you and the girls of course. Hilarious! At least you have something interesting to blog about….ha ha!

  2. Heh did you know that you don’t even have to fry the bacon, Baco’s are just as good and less caloried too! Well just a thought, but you
    know I ramble way too much anyway..haha

  3. see the harveys guy was tired cus he had to rush seven hours from the harveys where I live to the one where you live. EVERY time I go there i get the same retard

  4. This post proves that idiots are everywhere. Even on your own damn phone.

  5. OMG.. I think I have you beat on the corn on the cobb thing… We had to go get Hanna in Edmonton today and we were driving back home and some guy was playing his trumpet (an actual music instrument) driving down the Highway, doing 130 mind you.. Some peoples are messed.

  6. Lol.
    I can’t believe that happened.
    What a freak.
    Sassy if your wondering who this is its Roxi from d&p.
    I love your blog Sassy.
    What a freak who was at Harvey’s.
    I wonder if it was the same person who was on your phone.

  7. What’s scary is that it’s these kids that will be running the world when we’re in depends. :)

  8. That is why he is working at Harvey’s instead of doing surgery or something like that! LOL

  9. lmao! I wonder if that driver had a big old chicken breast and a slice of corn bread in her lap to go with the corn cob!

  10. hahahaaaa *snort*
    omg Yay!! I so can’t wait to move there!!

    except for I dunno bout the whole Harveys thing. *shudder*

    oh and now I get the school schupplies comment from earlier. .. your scho schilly! LOL!!

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