August 22, 2006
I should really reconsider staying up late and channel surfing. Really, really, really. As I was sitting on my duff, big, chocolate fudge brownie healthy apple in one hand and tv remote in the other hand, I came across a very weird and disturbing cartoon. I was horrified and mesmerized all at the same time. Who created this show? Surely it must be someone with a giant drug problem creative imagination. It skeered me.
We first meet this guy, who I think is the planet (I don’t want to say city because it looks more like they’re on freakin’ Mars or YourAnus) retardo. He doesn’t really speak in full sentences but from his grunting, you can ascertain that he wants to save something or someone. His retardo horse looks upset that he’s wearing a glowing greenish blue saddle. Or perhaps it’s because he’s just got big open circle’s for eyes. I dunno.
Then, all of a sudden, we see a nekid chick, who has definately pissed off the ‘blue men’ and they are trying to cart her away and are yelling obsceneties at her. She in turn asks one of the blue men to ‘make love’ to her. Whatever floats your boat sista.
Next, we see Liberace. I don’t know if his name is actually Liberace in the show but let’s just say he was very animated and flamboyant. Very. He was screaming at big boobied nekid chick that he loved her like his cousin (huh?) and she had no right to leave him and his ‘kingdom’. I don’t know if he’s a king but he definately fit the profile of ‘queen’.
BB Nekid chick escapes from the blue men and comes back to Liberace and calls him a bitch. He calls her a ho and then they begin to fight over this stick thing and continue with the insults and start trying to claw each other’s eyes out. Sounds like a blind date I had one time.
They continue to fight for the next 10 minutes and at this point, I should have just turned to another station but no, I couldn’t bring myself to flip it to Much Music or watch CSI reruns. It was scary yet like the proverbial train wreck and you just can’t look away.
We again see planet retardo and he’s lovin’ on some blonde chick who thankfully has her hooters covered up unlike her slutty co-star. Then the camera pans down and blondie, although wearing some kind of bikini top, is not wearing pants. Or panties. Or floss. Or anything. Just her cartoon beaver hanging out for all of the blue men and me to see. Thanks for that.
We get to see a close up of her cartoon ass crack (bet she finds a long hair of hers every now and again, caught in that said ass crack) as she bends down to pick up this green ball that everyone and their freaked out horse has been searching/fighting for all throughout the show. Apparently it has some kind of magical powers (maybe it produces clothes for these freaks to wear) and they all want a piece of it.
Finally at the end of the nightmare show, some big blue man wearing a fugly green shirt finds the glowing ball and starts laughing hysterically. I’m not sure what significance that holds but at this point I just don’t care and wanted to run and hide in my closet with my daughter’s stuff bears. I’m not sure if this show is a continuing series and airs every Monday night at around 12:30am but I can assure you I’m not about to find out.
