September 25, 2006
Each day, from Monday to Friday, I pack a lunch for my daughter, who is 6. She’s a pretty easy kid to feed, as she likes a variety of things, which really makes my life easier. And as I keep reminding you, it’s all about me.
And as the picture below depicts, she’s got a good selection in her lunch bag. A sandwich, some chocolate milk, a cheese string, grapes, pudding and a mirror. Yes. You heard me correctly. A mirror. ‘Cause who doesn’t pack a mirror in their lunch bag? All princesses do.
She informed me the other day that she needed to take her purple mirror to school because heaven forbid, she got food on her face and what if she didn’t know it was there and people were making fun of her and she didn’t know why? So she told me that inorder to solve that ‘dilemma’ she would pack her little mirror so she could ‘check out her face’ after eating to make sure everything was ‘fine’. I have no idea where she gets this sort of personality. Must be from her nutty ass mother father. Proof below:
Posted by Sassy @
6:55 pm •
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September 20, 2006
I was watching a ‘fashion’ type show the other day. At first it was kinda interesting and then I thought I had fallen asleep and was having a really bad nightmare. Really bad.
The lady hosting the show was telling us…….ready? Telling us, that 80′s fashions are coming back. Eighties. The 80′s. I damn near died.
I had fun in the 80′s, don’t get me wrong. I attended junior high and high school. Ended up with a kid. Or two. Got married. Twice. However, although I had no choice at the time but to wear 80′s fashions, I can tell you now, with all of my heart, I will not go back to leggings, big ass hair, parachute pants and shoulder pads. No way in hell.
The show was featuring models and they were wearing leggings. LEGGINGS. I’m sorry but leggings are one of the worst fashions ever created. They do not flatter anyone. Not a soul. If you’re skinny, then they make your legs look like broomsticks. Not sexy. If you’re too fat, then, well you look fatter. Ummm, no offense, but not sexy. But everywhere I look, I see they are the ‘must have’ for the fall season. Well, I’m just going to go naked then. I’m not wearing them ever ever again. I remember having a legging outfit (God help me for even admitting this) when I was pregnant with Ryan and that was back in ’95. The mere fact that they were still around years after we escaped from the 80′s is baffling. I must have been on drugs or I had a brain eating disease and wasn’t aware.
It was a red outfit, and although it was super comfy especially when one is with child, it was fugly now that I look back. I, thankfully, have no pictures of myself with this attire on and for that I’m very grateful. It makes me shudder to think I owned leggings. I pray my Fashion God will forgive me. I repent. It’s almost as bad as owning sweatpants. I don’t look down on anyone who owns or wears sweatpants but I’m not compatible with sweat clothes. I don’t want to sweat. In my clothes. Ever. And I try to avoid that when I eat brownies all day long work out like a freak. It’s just my personality is all I’m sayin’.
Ugly 80′s blouses are back too. *Insert fake happy clapping here* Again, they are a ‘must have’ piece to add to your wardrobe. I’m sorry but I will not be wearing ‘puffy’ shirts or anything with gigantuous ruffles running down the front with big stupid assclown pleats. Nope. Not doing it. If that makes me old and out of style, well so be it. I just down care. Call me a fashion retard. I dare ya.
Oh and I’m not wearing ballet flats with moronic fake flowers attached to them. I’m wearing my high heeled slutty ankle boots and you can’t stop me. Call the fashion police on me. I’ll kick them in the cornholio with my heels. Ha! Hopefully their anal beards don’t get caught in my boot. That’d be gross.
And, and I’m not wearing tunic sweaters or pencil pants. Pencil pants? Nice name. Who came up with that? A fucking pencil wanting to wear pants? Pfffftttt.
There’s a new show premiering next week called Ugly Betty. And I’m going to watch it. And what does this have to do with 80′s fashions and me refusing to be caught dead in them? Well, perhaps people will start calling me Ugly Sassy because I refuse to get all wrapped up in the idea that some ‘fashion’ person has decided to pull out the 80′s crap and tell us it’s all ‘MUST HAVE’S’. Ugly Betty looks like she’s the kind of person who’s not afraid to be who she is and if that makes her ugly, well sign me up. I’m going to wear my cute tee’s, my jeans that were in style just a few short months ago, my sweaters with fake fur around the collar, my pink monkey pajamas and anything else that I like whether it’s a ‘must have’ or a ‘must throw out now’. And if anyone has a problem with that, well I’ll just kick them. In the box. Or balls. Whichever.
Posted by Sassy @
7:36 pm •
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