October 31, 2006
What would Halloween be without some yummy witches brew? Nothin’. Okay, I’m just kidding, it’s not really brew, it’s stew. And I just made a rhyme. ‘Cause I’m clever like that. And by clever, I mean I’m slightly below average intelligence. And by slightly below average intelligence, I mean I’m a retarded ass monkey.
What a fun day I had. Let me tell you all about it. Get some coffee, maybe a donut or a bran muffin and a pillow. A pillow you ask? Yes, because by the next paragraph you’ll be snoring and laying in your own drool.
I woke up at 5am because apparently my brain doesn’t want me to get used to the time change. I got up, and eventually made it to my computer and checked my email. Nothing much exciting there. I do have many offers for penis enlargement (thanks but I have a vagina and I’m not looking to enlarge it) and an invitation to join the ‘dirty housewives club’. I’m going to pass on that but will keep it in mind if I so desire to one day become a dirty housewife.
I eventually got my kids up for school, came home, did Billy Blanks You Will Die After This Workout dvd, took a shower and started my stew. I chopped vegetables and put them in a pot. Added meat and some seasoning and took a long nap stood by that stove for hours stirring that mixture and babying that stew so it would come out and be the best tasting thing ever. I can safely say it wasn’t toxic the best tasting thing ever but it didn’t kill anyone. Whew.
Fast forward to getting the kids ready for trick or treating in the freezing cold. We got 3 inches of snow a few days ago and good old bitchface Mother nature decided to put us in a deep freeze too. So the kids had to wear 34 layers of clothes under their costumes so they both ended up looking like the Michelin man despite being Tinkerbell and a police officer. We braved the cold for about an hour and then came home, to have my daughter puke all over the kitchen floor. It was a super way to end the evening. And how was your Halloween?
Now I have a migraine from hell, so I popped some pills and will now flake out on the couch since I’ve bored myself to an almost coma state. I can feel the drool about to start. Happy Halloween.
