Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Does this look natural?  Absolutely fucking not.

December 11, 2006

I love shopping as you may have guessed from the many times I’ve mentioned that I’ve gone shopping. I’m always meeting strange people. Either they act like freaks, or as described below, they look like freaks. I’ve recreated a similar look that a lady was sporting while shopping at the Walmart. It wasn’t pretty. At all.
Perhaps I shouldn’t be so judgemental. Maybe she was just coming from, say, clown school? Or maybe she’s in a play and had to make a pit stop at the Walmart to get some more crayons makeup because, you know, people on stage have to wear exaggerated makeup inorder for the audience to see them and not look washed out. Perfectly fucking ridiculous plausible explanations.

She had short brown hair (I was not cutting and dying my hair, so just imagine the short brown hair), was about 55 or so (you know, the age where you wear LOTS of bright makeup to accent your wrinkles and age spots), had the reddest blush I think I’ve ever seen, had spread foundation over her real eyebrows and then drew (not very artisticly I might add) new eyebrows on, had blue eye shadow on (see, I couldn’t show you that because I.dont.own.any.) and had outlined her lips in a very, very, unnatural way. And by unnatural, I mean even drag queens don’t outline their lips that much.

I could not tear my eyes away from this woman. It was so bizarre to me. The icing on the cake, was, she was with a woman, who was about the same age, who had the nicest makeup job ever. She looked very classy and it looked like she had had her makeup professionally done. It baffled me, like wouldn’t the classy, non clown lady, say to the clown like lady, you know, how about I do your makeup today? Or here, let my pet monkey make you up because I know that a drunk, double amputee monkey could do a better job. I know it.

Posted by Sassy @ 9:44 pmUncategorized4 comments  

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4 Responses to “Does this look natural? Absolutely fucking not.”

  1. Oh my fucking word! Fantastic recreation! At first glance, I thought maybe you’d been assaulted by some overzealous Avon consultant.

  2. Maybe the lady with the makeup disaster already had her makeup done by the other lady and vise-versa? Scary huh!!!

  3. That’s an interesting photo, and a keeper for sure lol. I love Wal-Mart, I love the crazy people and the crazy stories you always have.

    Go to Wal-Mart really soon again. Kay thanks :)

  4. I’m going to blackmail you with that photo one day. You’re hawt and I can’t look away. You’re like a car crash. Of cosmetic proportions.

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