December 23, 2006

Well here it is that time again. Time for spiked eggnog so you can get your drunk on family and friends and a jolly good time.


You remember last Christmas right? I had special messages from my family members. This year they told me I was on my own and I told them that I was returning all of the presents I bought thus starting the festivities off on a good start.


I was actually done my shopping a few weeks ago, had it all wrapped and under the tree, which worked out well so I could sit on my duff and eat chocolate until it was going out of style bake nice things for my family.


I had a weird call yesterday. Some dude looking for the Santa tree. I told him he had the wrong number and he yelled that I had no Christmas spirit. I yelled back that I certainly did and that I hoped Santa shits in his stocking. Merry freakin’ Christmas to you too buddy. He hung up on me.


I miss my best friend already. She left to go visit family and will most likely be gone until the end of the holidays. Nice bff, to think of herself during the holiday season. Humph. Maybe I won’t buy her that mansion and the diamonds I said I was going to. And the trip to Mexico. And the date with the Naked Chef that I won. That would serve her right. (I’m only kidding, I hope you enjoy your time away and by the way, there are no diamonds and such. That was a total lie.)


My kids are pretty excited and I’ve tied them to chairs so they don’t open any gifts prematurely. Like who snoops? That’s so lame. I would never do that. (Ducking, incase God strikes me down with a lightening bolt for lying. Not that I lie.)


Do you like my holiday picture? I splurged on a new Santa hat and added bling to my teeth. Because bling sure looks nice on one’s teeth. Absolutely. Hardly looks cheap and white trashy at all. Plus my teeth are so frigging gorgeous anyway, that it’s nice to show them off although I’m not normally a show-off-y type gal. However, I’m pretty sure that there is at least one person out there that thinks I am. She’s an ex friend, who has begun to stalk me again. I’m being restalked. I think I should charge a restalking fee. Most places do.


I’m not making turkey this year. Well not that I’ve actually made the turkey in the past, just cooked the sucker. But we’ve decided we’re going to have t-bones bbq’d and have some other goodies to go with it. I guess everyone is sick of turkey. So in ya face turkey traditions, we’re going to be rebels and cook steak. Booh yah.


Well, I must go and finish making myself pretty. We are heading to the wench’s place for supper. Hopefully she doesn’t get drunk and flash her boobs like she normally does. That girl can cook but holy, keep your clothes on for a change. Ha!


Merry Christmas my sweet readers and I hope Santa finds you but I’m not hoping he shits in your stocking like I said to that weirdo that called me looking for the Santa tree. Whatever the hell that is.

RSS feed for comments on this post.
TrackBack URI

3 Responses to “Merry freakin’ Christmas.”

1. December 23rd, 2006 at 11:28 pm, Bluepaintred Says:

   merry christmas sassy

2. December 28th, 2006 at 11:14 am, Anonymous Says:

   Hi, i was looking over your blog and didn’t
   quite find what I was looking for. I’m looking for
   different ways to earn money… I did find this though…
   a place where you can make some nice extra cash.
   I made over $900 last month having fun!
   make extra money now

3. December 31st, 2006 at 4:51 pm, Karen Rani Says:

   I want mah diamonds, betch! LOL! Where are you????? I emailed you yesterday - where oh where could you be????