December 18, 2006
Hey I’m back. Obviously. Now that I think about it, ya’ll probably didn’t even know I was away since I didn’t mention it. I guess my big “I’m back” is really useless since noone even knew that I was gone.
We travelled to Edmonton, so I could photograph a friend’s wedding. I took over 400 pictures and I will be spending the next week in photography heaven, sizing, editing, arranging, framing and shipping pictures. So much for sitting on my ass eating Oreo’s my household chores. Oh well they can wait. My laundry isn’t going anywhere. Unless my laundry moves out since they’re not getting the service they thought they were supposed to get. Iron your own damn self.
My husband and I decided to bring our 2 youngest children along and stay at the Fantasyland Hotel and get one of those theme rooms. We were in the western room. My little outlaws slept in the ‘county jail’ bunkbeds but before the snooze fest, they went to town jumping on the beds, running around the room, opening doors, changing the channel on the tv 100 times, more running and getting in the hot tub.
There is a little bottle set out beside the hot tub, which says ‘bubble bath’. Which I assumed was for the hot tub. I’m thinking now, you’re not supposed to pour the whole bottle of bubble bath because then this happens:
Ya, like a ton of bubbles. And once all four of us got in it, we couldn’t even find our daughter. We think she may have went down the drain. I couldn’t even sit down all the way because then my hair would have gotten soaked and then I’d have to flat iron it again and that takes forever. So I just kinda half sat, half stood in the tub. Very attractive. And comfortable.
Oh and speaking of flat irons, as we were walking through the mall, I was stopped by a guy trying to sell flat irons. That curl. Lemme get this straight (no pun), you want me to buy a flat iron that curls my hair? My naturally curly hair? That I straighten. With a flat iron. I said to the guy, ‘Listen, I have straight hair as you can see but it’s naturally curly. So that means I own a flat iron. I don’t want a flat iron that can curl my hair since I have curly hair and want it straight, hence the flat iron. That flattens’. He looked at me like I had a dirty diaper on, outside of my jeans. Whatever Jack Doofus in your white lab coat that makes you NOT look like a doctor trying to sell people flat irons. That curl. Good luck.
We had some supper and as we walked by Dr Flat Iron, his flat irons nurses came over to me and were holding up their pink irons. ‘Hi Miss, we’d like to curl your hair with our flat irons that curl’. Hmmmmmmm. ‘I have curly hair, that I flat iron, hence, you can see me currently with really straight/flat hair. I don’t want it curly. If I did, I’d just fill up my hot tub again and swim in it. Thanks anyway’. They turned to each other and said, she’s weird. Ya. I’m so weird because I flat iron my curly hair with a flat iron. I don’t know how I get through life.
On Sunday, I went back to a place that I had been to on Saturday evening. They sold scrubs for your body and face, had speciality creams and other body treatments. All kinda sheee sheee pooo pooo if you ask me but I did like the sample scrub and cream I had tried. So I decided to go back before we headed home and buy some of it. Again, these people were wearing white lab coats to make me think they just whipped up this cream in their kiosk while shoppers walked by? Absolutely. A guy, about in his 50’s came up to me and started to open his mouth to start his big schpeal. I stopped him by letting him know that I had been here the night before, tried the sample and I want to buy it. He said that was wonderful. Then he looked at me and said, listen, I know you’re probably only 30 but it’s never too early to start caring for your face. And if I bought this product, I’d surely look 25 if not younger. I let him babble on, all the while shaking my head like I was interested, which I was not. I was thinking about what I might have for lunch. Or maybe I have fleas. Or a nervous tick. Dunno. Finally after he shuts his cakehole for 2 seconds, I tell him that I just want the body scrub and cream that I came for. I also told him, that obviously I don’t need your product, since whatever I’m currently doing is working because I’m not 30, I’m 39. Booh yah. I rock. Thank you very much. I did, however, want to ask him why he doesn’t use his own product because his skin looked like it had been cooked and then laid out to dry. ON THE SUN.
Anyway, I must go now, because I look so young that I can hardly stand to be around myself. Peace out my people.
