Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Drama queen 101.

January 17, 2007

Wanna learn how to become a professional drama queen? Sign up for Miss Maddy’s Drama Queen 101 class.

I heard my daughter sobbing the other night and asked her to come out to the livingroom. She walks out, holding a crumpled piece of paper in her hand, tears streaming down her face. Now when you’re reading my daughter’s part, say it in your head using a loud, sobbing, ‘my life is over’ kinda voice.

Me: What’s wrong? Why are you crying?

Her: I suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Sob sob sob* I suck as a dolphin artist!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Sob*

Me: A dolphin artist?

Her: Look! *holding out the crumpled piece of paper*

Me: *I unfold the paper to reveal what honestly, looks to me, like it’s a dolphin or at least some kind of sea life with fins* Honey, it looks like a dolphin to me.

Her: Noooooooooooooooooo, it doesn’t!!!!!!!!! I suck as a dolphin artist!!! I’m never going to be a dolphin artist! *Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*

Me: Maddy, just how many dolphins have you ever drawn? You’re six. I can’t imagine that it’s been alot and quite honestly, I’ve never seen you draw a dolphin before.

Her: That is my *sob* second one.

Me: You’ve drawn two? That’s it? *Calgon take me away*.

Her: Yes! *Sob* I suck! What will people think of me? I should be able to draw a dolphin, they’re not that hard to draw!

Me: I’m sure people aren’t going to have a bad opinion of you because of some dolphin drawings.

Her: Yes they will! I can’t even draw dolphins! *Sob sob sob*

Me: Maddy, honey, you have to practice. How do you think people get good at things? No matter what it is, you have to practice and the more you draw dolphins, the better you’ll get.

Her: No, I’m just never going to be a dolphin artist! *Sob*

She sulks off to her bedroom and about 10 minutes later comes out with a new piece of paper, the sobs have subsided and she exclaims that she’s now going to be a famous dolphin artist. She hands me the paper and I can definately tell it’s a dolphin for sure.

Her: Look! I’m sooo totally a dolphin artist now!

Me: Ah huh, for sure. Absolutely. How many dolphins have you drawn in the past 10 mintues?

Her: This is like, my 5th one! I can’t even believe it! I’m a dolphin artist now! Can you believe it?

Me: Amazing, truly amazing. *Where is that Calgon*?

Just leave your name, a payment of $25.99 and we’ll get you started on your Drama queen 101 lessons. Good luck.

Posted by Sassy @ 11:28 amUncategorized9 comments  

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9 Responses to “Drama queen 101.”

  1. She is too much – did you ever blog the story about when she spoke to A about his penis? I think it was about a year and a half ago…

    “Tell us a story, Grandma!” ROFL!

  2. oh man. thank god i have boys!

  3. I wanna know who sent in the payment for my daughter. Someone had to cause she has that shit down pat. She can go form future pop star to “no body loves me” in like a second.
    Danielle, ar eyou finished with your homework?
    Why not?
    I’m too stupid
    Danielle, didn’t you…like get into the gifted program?
    Uh huh
    Isn’t that for like smart kids and stuff?
    I guess so
    Weren’t you like last week saying how much smarter you are than all of your class mates?
    So why don’t you do your homework?
    Cause its hard and I’m stupid
    Just go to your room and finish your homework!

    Five minutes later I walk in her room and she’s reconfiguring the control settings on her computer


    By the way, I like don’t really like say “like” that much. It’s just somehting that like happens to me when I like visit your, you know, like blog and stuff
    go figure

  4. LOL. Our girls would get along great! Liberty (her real middle name..SERIOUSLY..WHAT was I thinking??) is a total calm princess one moment, and then the next she’s going ballistic about something. Her favorite phrase atm: ‘You’re Not listening to me..so NEVER MIND!’ It translates into: You’re not doing a damn thing I want so go to hell! Lord help us all.

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  6. Ok we did not get to see the dolphin photo, but…who took the time to draw Trump? HMMM??? hahaha

  7. I am not anonymous, at least I don’t think I am..ha..

  8. Yes, we love our little drama queens for sure! I look in the mirror and know exactly where Taylor gets it from!

    (Love the pic of Maddy, a princess of course!)

  9. Haha that’s great. She sounds adorable. I was like that too…I think. Maybe, or maybe I am like that. Meh.

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