Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Wee bit wonky.

February 8, 2007

Do I look a tiiiiiiny bit nutters to you? Ya? I thought so. Here’s a run down of my last few days. You might want to grab a snack and by snack, I mean vodka. And pills. And more vodka.

I’m still on pins and needles waiting on news about the house we want. I mean what are the chances it will still be on the market when we’re finally able to purchase it? Slim to none but who’s counting? Yes, it’s very ugly, straight out of the 80′s but still. Maybe someone else will think it’s an undiscovered gem and snatch it up. I’ll just kick them in the neck and steal it back. I’m kinda ninja like that.

I have a recommendation to make. Never, ever, ever, take a big ass grocery cart out on slippery parking lots that are sloped. Why you ask? Lemme tell you. I went to the grocery store yesterday and it was snowy, cold and because it had been mild the day before, the pavement had developed a thin layer of ICE. Now cover that ICE with a little bit of snow, put groceries in a huge, heavy shopping cart, going downhill and then have a 5’2″ looney pushing it. And by pushing it, I mean losing control of it and skating/sliding/being drug behind the cart like some kind of drunk ice capades has been. It was not pretty. And neither is my ass after being slightly bruised. Not to mention my ego. There were witnesses.

I did buy some chicken though. And cooked it in this:

Do you like my roasting pan? Not that you can really call it that. It’s one of those $1.99 tinfoil-y jobies that you get at the grocery store when you’re a loser like me and have no roasting pan to speak of. I mean I do have a big roasting pan, however, it’s been missing since 2004 and I’ve been too drunk busy to search for it. Plus, really, do I cook that much that I need it? Hardly. However, I bought 2 chickens that I decided to cut up and needed a big roaster. So I happen to find that monstrousity that I had purchased a while back but because it was so big, I had rammed it into the cabinet, thus it came out looking a little mashed. I had to kinda pound it back into ‘shape’ (I use that term loosely) and recreate the sides as they were not looking too healthy. Oh and it leaks. I found that out once I put the chicken in there and then poured the marinade all over it. As I carried it to the fridge, there was a trail of brownish soupy mess behind me. Nice. But surprisingly my chicken turned out and my family didn’t die of food poisoning, which is really cool.

Next on my list of whining, is these two:

My oldest offspring, goofy and goofier. However, I suppose I have to give them credit for being creative. Remember my ghetto dryer here? Well it finally crapped out and was sorta shooting sparks out of it’s ass, so I’m thinking it’s bit the big one and gone to dryer heaven.

So we needed to get the dryer that came with this house back in here. Hubby told me to ask the boys to take the old one out and bring the other one back in from the shed. Well after much huffing and puffing and complaining, they managed to get the shitty dryer out and get it to the shed. I had told them, they can’t drag the newer dryer in the snow and get it all wet. So they hummed and hawed and figured a way to get the dryer over to the step without getting it all snowy. Now, I’m thinking they’d just CARRY it since, honestly, it’s not that heavy for 2 big strapping young men, a bit awkward yes, but heavy no. But no, no, no, they don’t want to carry it because that would require WORK. So naturally, they put the newer dryer on top of the ghetto dryer and drag them both over to the step. Quite lazy ingenious don’t you think? Me too. Kinda white trashy too. Whatever, the other dryer is back and now working. Hooray!

Oh and on a final note, not of whining but of praising. I just have to say I have the best, best friend ever, as she spoiled me the other day. I swear it was just like Christmas and she was Santa, except it was February and she’s not in a red velvet suit with a big fat gut and a long, white beard. And big man hands. She’s actually quite lovely. I would totally marry her, well, you know, if I was a lesbian and she was one too and we weren’t already married to men, with children and stuff. Nevermind. I probably should have just kept that part in my head. Anyway, she’s so good to me and I wuv her alot.

Posted by Sassy @ 1:04 pmNonsense,White Trashy2 comments  

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2 Responses to “Wee bit wonky.”

  1. Seriously. You crack me UP!!! My Bestest Friend and I say the exact same Lesbian comment. But no one ever gets it. ROFL.

  2. Ha ha ha. I like that picture of Matt. I’m going to glue it on my wall.

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