Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
I’m not pink anymore. I’m blue.

February 22, 2007

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*Warning* This post may contain whining, bitching, moaning, a big pity party atmosphere and general complaining.

You may remember that I’ve secretly, all spy like, kinda mentioned a “fugly pink house” that we were hoping to buy. Well I found out yesterday that the house has been sold. And not to us. So thus the reason I feel like whining. Who would have thunk it? That I would want a really super ugly pink house. I do love pink just not for the outside of my house. Oh wait, it’s not my house. Anyhooo, moving on.

I have a migraine from hell because it’s not only making my head feel like it’s about to blow up but it’s making my teeth ache like someone punched me in the face. Hard. This is day two of said hellish migraine.

I went to the grocery store this morning and almost stepped in someone’s big gob of spit in the parking lot. How freakin’ gross is that? I can tell you, along with the disgusting spit, people would have been stepping in VOMIT had I indeed stepped in it. I cannot handle anything resembling snot or snot itself.

As I’m shopping this morning, I’m pretty sure I was hit on by two old men. One guy followed me through at least 4 isles, oogling me up and down. I know I’m hot but please, noone over 100 50. And the other old guy was standing behind me in the checkout line and I think he touched my ass with his hand. Or maybe it was his trouser snake. Or maybe it was his shopping basket that accidently hit my arse. I dunno.

Then. Then. Then. The cashier screamed that I ate her baby and punched me in the neck. Or maybe she said, ‘here’s your change, have a nice day’. One can see how I could mix that up. They’re so similar.

I decided while I was out getting groceries, that I would purchase vodka, rum, beer and chocolate celery sticks to comfort myself. Nothing like getting smashed and fat a long, green crunchy vegetable to cheer a person up.

Oh. Oh. Oh. I have to do more packing this weekend because well, we have to move out soon. And ya, we don’t have a house now. Oh I mentioned that up there. I’m mentioning it again, because I can. Why does a male dog lick his balls? Because he can my friend, because he can. I rest my case. I warned you that this would be whiney and mopey. So bring it.

I’m going to go now and flush my head in the toilet because that’s the trend now for complaining bitches. And everyone knows I’m nothing if not trendy.

Posted by Sassy @ 12:38 pmI want to Punch You in the Neck,Nonsense4 comments  

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4 Responses to “I’m not pink anymore. I’m blue.”

  1. ROFLMAO. ((((((((((((Sassy)))))))))))) Here’s a hug ’cause you said your blue, but really, I don’t see how ANYONE can be that blue and be so fracking funny. You really really really are the funniest person I’ve ever read. Really. And I mean funny ha-ha not funny like…well…a few fries short of happy meal funny :-D

  2. well, if this makes you feel any better – i really like that picture of you

  3. You are a very funny lady my dear. I enjoy reading your posts. Hope you feel better. Love your Blue Pic!

  4. You are moving? To NO house. OMG, I think I would stress!





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