Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
What day is it?

March 8, 2007

Happy Hump Day. And by Hump Day, I mean eat some chocolate and drink some alcohol. I totally would if, you know, I ate chocolate and drank alcohol. Oh wait, Hump Day was yesterday, today is just Thursday. Thursday gets a bum rap sometimes. Maybe because it was humped by Wednesday? Oh what a play on words. Dontcha love it?

Alot has been going on with me but I think I’ll spare you the unfortunate details. I’m kinda like a secret spy and if I tell you too much about my secret missions, then it wouldn’t be a secret and I’d have to punch you in the face if I spoke of it. And golly, we wouldn’t want that.

So tell me, what’s been happening with you? Yes, you. I’m serious, give me a run down of your activities and goings on and maybe your life experiences are more shitty than mine are right now and that will make me feel better about myself. I’m sweet like that. *Blink, blink, blink*

Oh, did I tell you?????????? Well I’m going to anyway, so brace yourself. Someone, other than my one other fan, recognized me! I’m not even kidding. I was in the mall, shoplifting shopping and I was looking at purses. There was a lady, about my age or so (25ish *cough*) and she was kinda staring at me. And by staring at me, she was booring holes in my back with her laser beam eyes. It was sort of creepy. I kept looking at the purses, all the while, continuing to watch her out of the corner of my eye. Finally after about 5 minutes of this, I looked her directly in the face at which time, I thought if she tries to attack me, I’ll throw my cell phone at her and then run away screaming for someone to arrest the crazy lady and then I’d call 911 for extra protection. Then I realized, I’d be without my cell phone because I had just thrown it at her and thus not able to call 911. Bad plan. I decided to smile at her and catch her off guard, because maybe she was a mall purse snatcher. I mean she didn’t really look like a purse snatcher nor particularly crazy for that matter either but you just never know. I then decided I’d walk over to the rack of necklaces and see if she was still eye laser beaming me. She was. Then I see her coming towards me. She opens her mouth and I’m thinking, oh, my God, she’s going to eat me. No, barf on me. No eat me. Anyway, I’m frightened at her open mouth. However, she wasn’t trying to eat me because I then heard words coming out of her mouth. Went something like this:

I love your blog!

OMG, you do?

Yes, it’s quite pretty. Where’d you get it?

Thanks! Where’d I get it? Ah, well, I guess the internet but I made it, kinda.

Wow, you make jewelry?

Jewelry?

Yes, like your watch.

My watch? Oh.

It’s at this point, I’ve just realized, she didn’t say, ‘I like your blog‘, she had said, ‘I like your watch‘. Geez. Talk about feeling like a, oh, I don’t know, a fucking MORON. So when I said up there, someone had recognized me again, ya, that was apparently only in my deluted, retarded head. Sigh.

My youngest son is sick today. He was up all night until 4am, ah, being sick. That about sums that up. Moving right along……

I have to do some more packing this weekend because I eventually have to move. Like in less than 2 months. Can you say, S.T.R.E.S.S. Moving is just not fun. I can’t think of one fun thing about it. Digging through all of your belongings, getting boxes, tape, wrapping breakables, finding that long lost donut hidden in the back of your closet (oh come on, we’ve all had gross donuts in our closets.), wondering, when in the name of fuck, did I buy that sweater? It’s puke green with shitty brown stripes, trimmed in orange diarreah fringe. Surely it must have been purchased while drugged? I dunno. Anyway, the whole process is just hard. And not hard like hard candy because hard candy can be quite enjoyable now and then, but hard, like, hard. Yaaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaa.

As I sign off for now, I want to leave you with one thought. Ummm, hmmm, you know, honestly I can’t think of a frigging thing right now, so, ah, this is awkward. I swear if I think of something profound to say, I will come back and say it. Not even kidding you. Enjoy your Thursday, you know, the day that gets the bum rap.

Posted by Sassy @ 10:13 amEmbarrassing,Just Stuff.12 comments  

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12 Responses to “What day is it?”

  1. What’s been going on?
    Let me regale you with tales of the various pains in my ass
    Two weeks ago I took a week off so we could re-roof our home. Half way into the project (With one room entirely exposed tot he elements) I get a splinter. Yup, just a splinter of wood…that happened to go thru my knuckle. And there is this whole thing about a nerve and a tendon sheathe and what not and the next day I’m having surgery on my hand. So I can’t finish the roof much less any of the other projects tied to this project (kindof a three in one deal with a new porch and rebuilding a room also) Plans fall down go boom. We do have a plaque in our house that reads “we plan, god laughs”.
    So the surgery goes fine but the medecine gives me the worst constapation of my life wich gave me the worse hemorrhoids of my life…
    The second pain in my ass is a deal with the ex-wife, a daughters birthday, the daughters counselor…
    Too fresh, can’t go on with that one.
    The third is an employee I have to supervise who has boundry issues beyond anything I have ever witnessed yet I have no authority to eliminate yet I am responsible because of the number 4 and 5 pains in my ass who hired the son of a bitch and put him under me…

  2. Well I cannot say I have anything going on like you all, or even the guy with hand surgery, an ex wife or a million projects her cannot do now. Wow, I just feel plain crappy today, all over, all the way through and work is boring so there you have it, but your blog sis make me smile a little, always worth something in my book.

  3. Ha ha, the ONE OTHER FAN makes an appearance!

  4. Well Ash, I love when my fan makes an appearance! Ha!

  5. Tara, I’m glad I could put a smile on your face, it’s the least I can do since I can’t offer you money or meatloaf..haha.

  6. Wow Ozy, you might just have me beat. I know I said I’d feel better about my life if yours sucked worse but I’m thinking I was kidding. LOL! Anyway, I’m glad your surgery went well. I have no money and can’t cook, so not sure what I can offer you to make you feel better…I could flash you……..you know, with my pearly smile. Wink.

  7. Wow, I am broke as a joke and in a few days going to acting like I know how to help a person on the phone with their lawnmower (Sears helpdesk)…oh joy..be still my little bitty wage per minute that I will make..student loans and medical bills…make my head spin…but you always make me smile with your blog and that is nice!

  8. From the snowy country of Canada,

    oozing your puns and bloggy life,
    to a lonely American wife.

    Your blog and your humor, smell like a sweet smelling parfuma,

    and a day in the life,
    of Sassy’s strife,

    makes me know I am,
    uh..what rhymes with “parfuma???”

  9. teehee..it must be the cough meds with codeine, it makes me giddy…eh!

  10. You totally should have called me. I love moving and packing. I’m weird that way though. :P

  11. Stacy I love people on cold meds…they’re the most fun! LOL!

  12. Ah KG, I like don’t have your freakin’ phone number sooooo I can’t very well call. Gah. What do I dial? 1-800-I-Like-Packing-And-Moving? Hmmmmm? ;)





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