March 15, 2007

You’re most likely cursing me, wanting to strangle me or at least punch me in the face, and really who could blame you? I know I said I’d be telling my secret and you probably thought I’d be spilling the beans like 2 years ago but you have to keep waiting. Think of this like your favourite sitcom/drama/soap/movie and you’re hanging on the edge of your seat, breathless, waiting for the cliffhanger to be resolved so you can get the hell back to your lives, but at the same time, you’re intrigued and mesmerized (by my hotness/beauty, duh) and don’t exactly want it to end because then you’ll all be bored and shit. See how I give you such great ideas! You love me, I can tell.

I will tell you this, I’m not pregnant. I’m not dying (that I’m aware of), I’m not having surgery to remove some ugly, nasty bunion, I’m not having a boob job (although I’d consider it), I’m not getting an artificial leg because as of right now, I have 2 real ones, I’m not trading in my piece of shit van nor am I shaving my head. I want to be absolutely sure of the “thing that I’m talking about in code” before I talk about it, incase, you know, aliens come and eat me. Na, I’m just joshin’ you, I’m just paranoid I’ll jinx it. And you don’t want to be responsible for me jumping off of a cliff should you pester me to talk about “this” and then it gets jinxed and you’ve thus ruined my life. You really want that on your shoulders? I didn’t think so. Am I a bit dramatic? You betcha. But that’s what keeps you dreaming about me each and every night. You do dream about me each and every night? Right? Huh?

I promise I will entertain you until then. And if not, well, then you can sue me if you so choose. I can tell you I don’t really have alot of funds but you can have my bellybutton lint collection. That’s hot.

*Edit* I just sucked up my bellybutton lint collection with the vaccum cleaner (oops), so, ah, you’ll have to sue me for something else…..my old nail polish collection?

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3 Responses to “Ah, you want to kill me right?”

1. March 16th, 2007 at 7:33 am, chris Says:

   Seriously chic..this had better be worth the wait

2. March 16th, 2007 at 8:23 am, Ash Says:

   GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

3. March 16th, 2007 at 11:38 pm, bluepaintred Says:

   my guess is that you are waiting for the papers on the new house to be finalised before telling us. ;o)