Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Where’s my party?

March 22, 2007

Knock, knock, anyone home? Remember I shared my ‘hopefully will happen soon’ good news? Ya? Well, I was thinking I’d be flooded with house warming gifts, such as huge wads of cash, jewels and socks, everything a new house needs and/or a big swanky party. So far, nothin’. Nada. Zip. Zero. I see something very wrong with this picture. You all say, ‘you’re a crazy bitch’, ‘we love you’ but I’m not feelin’ it or seein’ it people. Get your shit together, mmmkay?

It’s Thursday (although I’m going to tell you in a later paragraph that I’m confused on the days, you just wait and see…you didn’t know I was psychic) and besides feeling slighted that noone cares enough to host a big schwing ding for me, I’ve got nothing to bitch about. Well, almost nothing.

Does anyone watch American Idol? I pretend to and when I’m pretending to be into a show, it really pisses me off that they allow people who can’t sing on that show. Girlie haired boy really has to go. Sure he’s young, just a baby really, has pretty hair and nice teeth, but last time I checked this was a singing competetion. And he. can’t. sing. I guess Howard Stern’s mission is working. Do I care? Not as much as I care that noone has sent me any presents.

Oh, did I mention I’ve got the perma-headache from hell? It’s a migraine that never fully goes away, lingers, making one feel nausous and wanting to punch people in the neck. Maybe that’s why noone is sending gifts or having parties for me. I’ve been on a punching rampage, thus alienating potential gift givers and party throwers. Duh.

My daughter informed her father last night that she needs $12.50 for a diary she wants to buy. She told him that he only needs to worry about the 12 bucks as she can spare the 50 cents. She needs to write her ‘private crap’ down as she put it to me this morning. Oookaaaay. She’s six. Although she looks six, I’m thinking she’s 24. Gotta be some joke on me.

I’m all mixed up this week, thinking today was really Friday but no, it’s only Thursday (see, told ya I was psychic). Survivor was on last night and I think that’s what messed me up. Doesn’t take much does it? Or maybe it’s because I’ve been drunk for 8 days packing like a mad person, even though we still don’t know for 100% sure if we have a house to move into. I suppose it’s better to be prepared. I should save a few of the cardboard boxes I have incase we need them, you know, to live in. Cardboard is the new condo.

It’s spring now incase you missed it. I like to make sure my 7 fans 957 fans are up to date on the latest news and world events. I’m informative like that. Just a big bag of knowledge I am. Or maybe it’s just a big bag. I’ll get back to you on that one. Are you as bored as I am? *Yawn*

I should perhaps get off of my duff and do more, ah, cleaning. Ya, cleaning. Or is it sleeping I’m thinking of? I get the two confused sometimes. Maybe that’s why we have no clean clothes or dishes or floors, or bathrooms. Hmmm. Okay, gotta go scratch my head and wonder what happened to my brain.

Posted by Sassy @ 10:22 amI want to Punch You in the Neck,Just Stuff.7 comments  

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7 Responses to “Where’s my party?”

  1. I was too lazy to “edit”, so I’ll put my ‘PS’ here. I like bigger bills like 50′s and 100′s. Just so you know.

  2. How about a corkscrew? Every new house needs one of those.

    Do I win a prize for Most Boring Comment by a Newcomer in a Domestic Comedy Blog?
    Goddamn, I hope it’s a corkscrew. I just gave mine away.

  3. I had a crisp fresh $50 bill to send ya. But when I was walking to the post office, I was attacked!

    By what you ask?

    A big hairy gorilla. I KNOW! Can you believe it? I could not figure out WHAT a big hairy gorilla was doing on main street of my teeny tiny town either.

    So I fought him off with my bright pink umbrella and emerald cowboy boots. Then I continued to the post office thankfull to have saved your housewarming money.

    Then I got to the post office and you know what? I forgot I don’t have your address.

    So I went and bought a Mocha Latte, had my nails done, and tanned with the money.

    But I did it all with you on my mind :-D

  4. Sassy honey, unlike bridal and baby showers, people give their own housewarming parties. Stock up on the margarita supplies, send out the invites and see what shows up.

  5. Well I had your party at my place just last night but nobody showed. You all got the invites didn’t you? I think they were sent. Well maybe I forgot since I have been helping 3 members of my family move into their new homes!!! I hope you get your house Sassy. I’d offer to help you move but I think you’re a bit to far away from me.

  6. Yes Mike, you do win. I’ll have your trophy in the mail, like soon. Veerry soon. Ha.

  7. Chris, I knew I could count on you, sorta. And yes, it’s the thought that counts but I think that’s only in horse shoes or something like that. I suppose it’s mostly my fault since I didn’t post my home address. Oh well, next time. ;)

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