Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Ugly. Mmmm ‘scuse me?

May 8, 2007

I got a search string today on my blog for ‘trashy ugly girls’ and I was # 2 on Google. What’s that about? I know I’m no beauty queen but trashy and ugly? Okay, I’ll take trashy, but ugly? I don’t think so. At least I hope not. My mirror tells me every morning that I’m okay. Maybe that bitch is lying to me. I’ll cut her.

Big, hairy butts are ugly. Flappy hairy, smelly pits are ugly. Betty is ugly. Dog poo melting in the sun, you guessed it, ugly. And gross to boot. But me? Well I’m not stuck on myself but I know I’m not ugly, at least I don’t think I am. Okay I was so sure a few sentences back but now, not so much. Thanks Google searches for making me feel unsure of myself. I will say, however, I remember this guy from grade 7, who I was totally, secretly in love with and one day he shattered my dreams by turning around in his seat and telling me, point blank, that I was ugly. Whatever bizatch. I hope you’re fat, bald and hope your wife is having an affair with some hot, Latino man. Bring it. I wish I could remember his name. Derek I think. Guess I wasn’t as in love as I thought.

It was kinda hot here today. I’m going to try not to complain about the weather because as humans, we moan about the cold and snow in winter and then about the heat and sun in the summer. So I’m just making the comment that it was warm here. That’s all, nothing more. My windows are open and I can hear someone whipper snipping their lawn. Isn’t that exciting? I’m glad I can bring you up to date, interesting pieces of my life. I rock.

I cleaned out my dresser today and threw out some clothes that I don’t wear anymore. How can one person (me) have so many clothes? Where do they all come from? I think I shop/sleep walk, because quite honestly I don’t remember buying that much. I really should stop, but I do like clothes. Alot. You know, it’s probably too late to reform myself, so why even bother? I should have been my pyschiatrist because I really do know myself. Again, say it with me, I rock.

I’m craving something. However, I’m not sure what. Has that ever happened to you? You’re dying for something but you don’t know what you want? I think I want Chinese food but I am pretty sure I’m not going to get any. Maybe if I ask my husband real nice, he’d pick some up on his way home? Pray for me. Well, praying seems a bit much for Chinese food. Maybe just crossing something for me. Like fingers. Or whatever you like to cross.

I’m going to go take a bath and turn on the jets. Wicked isn’t it? I have a tub with jets. Okay, so it’s not a private jet, that would fly me around the world, now that would be wicked, but having a tub with jets, is kinda neat is it not? Better than taking a bath with a creepy clown that makes fart bubbles. Don’t ask.

Posted by Sassy @ 8:57 pmNonsense2 comments  

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2 Responses to “Ugly. Mmmm ‘scuse me?”

  1. Yea, you are sooooo ugly. That is why I visit here every day hoping for nudie pics.

  2. Thanks Ozy. I’ll see if I can find some nudie pics and get back to you on that one. Ha.

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