Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Blow me.

May 9, 2007

That’s what the wind did to me today. It’s so freakin’ windy here, that had I brought my wings (they were being cleaned) with me on my walk, I’m quite certain I could have taken flight.

I walked to the grocery store and although, nothing major happened while in the store, with the exception of an angry lady complaining to me about how she’s sick of the customer service there, I did have a fun walk getting there. By fun, I mean, where’s a taxi when you want one?

First, I saw someone’s wig laying on the sidewalk. I had to do a double take but sure enough, it was a brown wig. I’m not sure how you lose your wig and not notice unless perhaps they were drunk or on drugs or they wanted to be bald today, who knows. I did take a cell phone picture of it but since it’s not great quality, it looks like a giant pile of dog crap, which I’m sure you don’t really want or need to see. Unless you’re some kind of freak and if that’s the case, then you can find a blog that posts pictures of dog poo. I’m not doing it and you can’t make me.

I also got hit in the head with an empty pop can. As mentioned, it’s so bloody windy, that everything not tied down or weighing over 10lbs is being strewn about and hitting people. I also got jabbed in the corner of my right eye with a folded up receipt from Home Depot. That kinda hurt. Not hurt like, I want to roll over and die or call 911 but hurt nonetheless. Feel sorry for me yet?

And finally, I stepped in pinkish vomit right outside of Michaels craft store. I mean, who hasn’t stepped in puke on the sidewalk in front of a shopping plaza? And who hasn’t hurled on the sidewalk at some point in their life? Happens to me all. the. time.

I could use a nap now. I feel volated after walking in barf. And what the hell did they puke up? I mean it was day glo pink. Maybe they just drank a whole bottle of Pepto? But doesn’t that help an upset stomach? I dunno. I’m tired now. I have to go wash my sandals. Or maybe I’ll just throw them away. Or burn them. Where are my matches?

*Edit* Maybe the person who threw up, was the one who lost their wig later on? Just a thought. Okay back to burning my footwear and bleaching my feet.

*Edit again* Or maybe they lost their wig, didn’t notice AND then puked because they lost their wig? I’m thinking out loud here, is there a law against that? No. Oops, note to self, don’t burn footwear inside. Gotta go.

Posted by Sassy @ 1:11 pmEmbarrassing,I want to Punch You in the Neck,Just Stuff.4 comments  

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4 Responses to “Blow me.”

  1. Maybe the barfer had one of them pinky-red kool-aid pickles that was featured in the NY Times today. The thought of such pickles makes me want to barf.

  2. Maybe they ate pink craft supplies….

  3. Kay, here’s what happened. After leaving home depot I dropped my reciept. Needing said reciept I bent over to pick it up and my wig fell off (cause if you rmemebr I don’t have hair, well, on my head anyway) but the wind blew the friggin’ peice of paper before I could grap it so I chased it and got overheated and thusly puked. And I had to puke something pink ’cause it was in front of michael’s and i didnt want it to clash.
    I had nothing to do with the coke can, had it been a beer can that very likely could have been me as I am prone to bouncing beer cans off of peoples heads (only empty ones, the cans, not the heads).

  4. Thank goodness you cleared that up Ozy. Mystery solved!

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