Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Who knew…..

June 5, 2007

….that some crazy lady would run into the back of my heel with her shopping cart and then she’d laugh and point and half walk, half run away? Who knew? Not me. Lotsa nutjobbies out there people.

Also, who knew that the very short lady at the grocery store would be yelling, ‘hey you’ a whole bunch of times and low and behold she was yelling at me? I didn’t know. When I finally clued in that she was motioning for me to come over to the end of the isle where the faceclothes and towels are, I walk over, while pushing my shopping cart because, hello? I’m a CUSTOMER not an employee. Ya, and I WASN’T wearing a name badge OR a uniform but sure, I can see why she’d mistake me for that ‘hey you employee’ in my denim capris and pink tee shirt and hair in a ponytail. I guess I can’t help it if I look knowledgable about everything. The price I pay.

Anyway, she gets me to go to the end of the isle where there are stacks of faceclothes on sale for $2.34 for a bundle of 12. She points to the sign, which by the way, there were many signs up not just one and they all said 12 WASHCLOTHES FOR $2.34. Plain as day. She looks at me kinda crazy-ish and says, ‘well’? Well what lady? I shrug my shoulders and then look at my watch to let her know I’ve got way more important stuff to do than stand here and watch her be all looney. She then asks me how much these things are? The washclothes? Yes she says. I said, well it says on the GIANT bright orange sign that they are 2 fucking dollars and 34 fucking cents. I didn’t say the fucking part but I was sure THINKING it. She then asks me ‘but how much are they’? Oh Lord. Let’s try this again shall we? They’re two dollars and thirty four cents for FUCKSAKE. Again, I didn’t say the fuck part but I was thiiiiinking it. She looks at me and then at the washclothes and then back to me and says, ‘you people really need to put up better signs for prices’. Then she walks away all huffy. I know, I’m such a crappy NON EMPLOYEE for not having the proper signage up so my NON CUSTOMERS can see what they have to pay for the NON products that I don’t put out because I don’t work there. Gah. Is this like the whole my doctor isn’t my doctor but is my doctoer kinda scenerio, ‘cept I’m now considered an employee of the grocery store I shop at but I don’t get a pay cheque but I do get shit on by customers? I LOVE that.

And who knew that a certain bank which will remain nameless because I might get fired from there because I don’t work there but talked trash about them and then I’d be out a job that I don’t get paid for, and that would suck………but I digress….anyway, a certain bank can’t get their act together and keep our files straight on a certain issue which I will not mention for fear of the universe turning on it’s axis kinda deal and I would feel really guilty if I somehow turned everyone’s world upside down. Oh isn’t that punny? Get it? Ya.

Did you know that I was going to take a shower today but instead I took a bath because I wasn’t going to wash my hair because it looked kinda pretty all flat and stuff since I flat ironed it and my hair is very thick, never gets greasy so I don’t really have to shampoo it every day or it would be like straw? You didn’t know? Well I just told you BUT here’s the kicker. I decided after I got all dressed after my nice bath, that I would clean my bathroom because as some of you may know, I clean my bathroom just about every day because I really like a clean bathroom, anyhoo, as I was bending down to pick up a piece of paper on the floor, which had kinda sorta fallen in behind the toilet, so I therefore, had to sorta kinda squat down and reeeeeach in behind the said toilet to retrieve the piece of paper (I swear I WILL get to the point) and the toilet seat was up and my hair is very long. REALLY REALLY long and guess what? Some of my hair was in the toilet water, which techinally was fresh water, well as fresh as toilet water can be I suppose but still, ewwww. So that means I had to wash my hair because the thought of walking around with toilet water soaked hair ends just kinda sorta creeped me out. Now I must go finish drying it and then maybe flat ironing it if I feel like it, which I kinda sorta don’t feel like. Who knew?

Posted by Sassy @ 1:51 pmConfusing right?,Nonsense14 comments  

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14 Responses to “Who knew…..”

  1. O.K. now take a breath:)
    You never know…maybe toilet water is the magic ingredient to beautiful hair!!

  2. OK, I am really starting to worry about you. You aperantly shop in a store where EVERYONE is a nutjob. OK? See where I’m going with this?
    the good news is you are getting an award… for the worst non employee ever at the crazy person store. You’ll never make it as a stock clerk this way.

  3. i keep meaning to email ou about your flat iron, but since you brought it up here, i will do it now. heaven knows that if I don’t, I will forget by the time I click over to email.

    what is your natural unflat ironed hair like?

    Think It would work on mine? mine is naturally frizzy .. i mean curly, and pretty dry.

    annnd. what kind of flat iron is a good one? cus there are six million different kinds in teh store.

    what? you aren’t a flat iron employee?

    and why haven’t the flat iron people seen your blog, which is basically one big advertisement to the wonders of flat irons ? they should be paying you for all the free advertising.

  4. see, I wouldn’t be so picky about the dip in the water… it would be my hair on the seat where peoples asses have been that would drive me nuts.
    ~just a thought~

    I’m laughing about the facecloth lady- I would have picked up a pack and lobbed them at her head when she turned to leave. Ok, I’m totally bullshitting you but I would have thought of it.really hard.

  5. ROFL. I hate when I’m confused for someone I’m not. I mean really…I’m so much hotter than Cameron Diaz. Geez.

    And toilet soaked hair…ewwwwww.

  6. Ok, this might be a day when you should just crawl back under the covers and say screw it!!!
    Toilet water and hair. Ugh, I would have to wash as well.
    Tomorrow will be better.

  7. ok if your stat meter says I’m a stalker and was here all freakin night it’s not because I’m obsessed with you (ok, I am who am I kidding) but that I left one of my tabs on your site & am a loser (we all know that though)

    So how’s the rebounding going today????
    thinking of ya!
    ::big hugs::

  8. so 12 washcloths would still be $2.21 USD? Fuck that. Phone me when you can control your costs. Northern neighbors my ass.

    (sorry sassy, i will not drink bourbon and comment ANYMORE!)

  9. You are HILARIOUS! Very fun to read!

  10. Yeahhh…. I would suggest ONLINE SHOPPING!

  11. You make my day, toilet hair and all!!

    hugs,

    Stacy

  12. Owww on the grocery cart/ankle thing!

    My oldest accidently ran into mine at Wallymart a few weeks ago. I had a bruise from ankle to 6 inches up!

    I think I have a permanant dent too! Eek

  13. Oh wow, were you at Wal-Mart by chance? Seems like every kind of bad shopping experience happens at Wal-Mart. And wow that lady was beyond looney! Mistaking you for an employee? What a crazy.

    Was she the same lady who hit you with a shopping cart and ran away cackling?

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