Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
I used to act dumb…

June 11, 2007

…That’s what Paris Hilton told Barbara Walters on the phone. Ah okay. So she’s saying she’s not really dumb but just pretended to be dumb? Hmmmm. She said ‘that act is no longer cute’. Wow, now I beg to differ. Who doesn’t love a dumb person? Especially when they’re over the age of 25? Not this chickie. Show me the dumb, people, show me the dumb. Cute and sexy. I want me some dumb.

Enough about Paris already. Like we have more important topics to cover such as my 11 year old, who by the way, is a Selective Mute and who also acted like he wasn’t one at Walmart the other night.

We’re loading stuff from the cart onto the counter and as my sweet boy is helping me, he picks up a box of tampons.

Tampons? Tampons? Mom what are tampons? His part is all said in a loud loud voice with lots and lots of people standing in the lineup behind us. All snickering. My speaking parts are in part whisper, part hiss through my teeth.

They’re for mommy okay?

Ya but what are tampons? Holding box up, looking at it from every angle.

Just something for mommy okay?

Ya but what are they? WHAT THE HECK ARE TAMPONS? WHAT THE HECK DO TAMPONS LOOK LIKE? SHOW ME, SHOW ME, SHOW ME!

I’ll show you but just not right now, in the checkout, in front of the nice people staring and laughing at me now. Thank you.

SHOW ME THE TAMPONS, SHOW ME THE TAMPONS.

Aren’t you a selective mute? Huh? What happened to that?

I wanna know what the heck tampons are and we should just OPEN the box mom!

Ummm look I see the real Scooby Doo over there. Go pet him.

We went on a picnic yesterday and I took a picture of two dragonflies gettin’ it on.

Dragonflies

Sweet isn’t it? Look how their little bodies made a heart shape. Awww, say it with me. I wonder if the girl dragonfly then eats the boy dragonfly? Or maybe they just go out to dinner, you know, go eat some mosquitoes? Or maybe she punches him the nutsac and says, ‘thanks for nothin’. Things to ponder.

Oh, I have a hangnail. And I painted my toenails a new dark red colour. Oh and I love broccoli salad. And I cooked bacon on Sunday too. I know I shouldn’t make you so jealous of my life but it can’t be helped. I’m sorry. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………

Ooops, sorry, dozed off there for a minute. It’s the excitement, keeps me awake at night and then I get tired in the daylight. Good times, good times.

Ah, okay, well my licquor cabinet couch is calling me because my tv wants me to watch it. I’m going to watch America’s Got Talent and pray that they really do.

*Edit* For some reason, my picture is not showing…could be wordpress, could be aliens. I dunno but if it doesn’t show by tomorrow sometime, I’ll just moon you and then we’ll be even. In the meantime, you can have naughty dreams about dragonflies.

*Edit again* Okay it’s now showing, so that means no moon show from me I guess. Aww shucks. Maybe next time.

Posted by Sassy @ 8:53 pmEmbarrassing,Just Stuff.,Kids9 comments  

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9 Responses to “I used to act dumb…”

  1. Oh, I’m too lazy to edit this again…so if you can’t wait for wordpress to get their act together about showing my picture, then you can click my Flickr buttons on the side and look under wildlife and see my dragonflies having sex picture. You know, if you’re that desperate and such. Just sayin’.

  2. tampons. I love them as much as I love my son wandering around the house with a “marital aid” in hand…for fuck’s sake, right?!

  3. LMAO. I actually went through something similar the other day. OMG. HORRID!

    Anyway, dragon fly porn. I can see it now. A whole new industry created just by you. Cafe Press..watch out…Here she comes! ;-)

  4. Yep, the heart shape means love! And they are very limber, I might add!

  5. Ooo Chris, dragonfly porn..love it. Or wait, that might be a bit creepy. Or sexy. Either one could fly. Oh get it? I’m punny.

  6. Hahaha Liv…do tell..lol

  7. **bow chicca bow wow**
    Don’t ya think you should have a NSFW warning in this post?! lol
    Hmmmm…..that position looks interesting;)

  8. Yeah, it’s creepy. But in an erotic kinda way ;-) HAHA.

  9. That picture is really cute. I never thought I would say that about a pornographic picture…but it is cute. You have a talent for taking pictures, not just being in them ;)

    No I’m not really hitting on you. I’m just bored :)





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