Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Some thoughts and observations.

June 13, 2007

Here’s a piece of mind blowing information for you: I don’t use soap on my body. I’m not saying I don’t bathe or shower, but I’m saying I don’t like the feeling of my skin being dried out, so I don’t use soap. Instead, I use Baby Dove. I mean it’s in the shape of a bar of soap but they claim it’s not soap and I do believe them because my skin isn’t all dry and flakey and I will cut them if they’re lying to me. So this is where I get a little creeped out. I was watching tv yesterday and a commerical came on for Dove chocolate. Chocolate, as in, that yummy brown stuff we all like to eat and/or smear on ourselves and have it……nevermind. See, I kinda have a problem with the people who create my bathing products, now creating things we can supposedly eat. Like is it really stomach friendly? Or is it just a chocolate bath product and if we actually ate it, we’d get the trots or some other toilet issue? I’m sorta skeptical and I’m doubting I will eat Dove chocolate. I mean it looks like chocolate but it could be a conspiracy and we all know how those go. Moving right along.

Not that you care but did you hear this? Remember Kevin Federline? He’s that wanna be supastar, who wears his pants well below his ass line, big white sneakers, crooked hat and wife beater, who used to be shacked up with Shar Jackson, implanted his seed *shudder* twice and she then became his baby mama and then he dumped her to have sex with (and marry) *shudder muchly* BritneyI like to show my saggy vagina ALOT and shave my head and beat things with my Mary Poppins umbrella and then get skanky extensions and show my vagina again ALOT Spears and then implanted Shitney with more of his seed *Insert vomitting here* and then she became his baby mama too? Remember? Ya, snoresville but you have to listen to this because it quite frankly blows my mind how trashy and messed up some people truly are. Well, now, supposedly, allegedly, Shar Jackson is pregnant AGAIN with, you guessed it, Kevin’s baby. Ummmm what? So, let me get this straight. You Shar, had to have had sex AGAIN with K’Fed inorder to be implanted with his seed AGAIN and that my dear, is just gross. Makes my life seem so boring normal. Oh the fun. Good luck with that. I feel sorry for those children. All 36 of them. Meh.

Oh, I started weight training on Monday. And by that, I mean, I don’t have weights or training, so what I am saying is, I’m still doing alot of eating bonbons cleaning. Na, I’m just shitting you, I did start weight training. My husband bought this big home gym thingy and I have been using it. My arms are feeling like rubber, so I’m actually typing this all with my eyelashes. Yes, they are that long and pretty. Eat your hearts out.

I have to mow my lawn today. If I sound whiny, it’s because I am whiny and I’m not wanting to mow my lawn but unless someone wants to come and do it for me, then it’s just me and my mower. And my extension cord. And my garden gloves. And my giant bottle of vodka sunscreen. I suppose I should actually get off my ass and do it but that would mean I’d have to get off my ass and that sounds so lame and boring. And I’m clearly too fantastic to be either lame or boring. Oh the suffering I suffer.

Oh PS. I eloped 18 years ago today. Ah not with myself, but with a hot guy named Anthony. I mean sure, if I was going to elope with myself, I would because, who wouldn’t? What? Nevermind.

Posted by Sassy @ 12:48 pmJust Stuff.,White Trashy12 comments  

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12 Responses to “Some thoughts and observations.”

  1. you know, you amuse the crap out of me.

    …typing with eyelashes..

    roflmao

  2. Wow, it must hurt sometimes to be your brain. Great post!

  3. ROFLMAO. Literally. Oh.my.gawd. is SOO right.

    I don’t know how you manage to make me laugh so hard ever freaking time…but you do.

    I so love you! (again, in a bloggy way..not in a ‘Me and Angelina’ sort of way).

  4. Oh..also…dove chocolate is one of my favs and if it was soap..that would be so totally awesome. Then I could shower and eat my chocolate. mmmm.

  5. I don’t know….I just read this afternoon that Shar and K-Fed’s ‘people’ are saying that her being prego “isn’t even remotely true”. How pregnancy can be “remotely true” or untrue is beyond me. It seems to me that either you are pregnant or you’re not; right?

  6. You have a very busy brain:)
    K-Fed is a gross nasty fuckwad. He dragged Britney down to his level. I have to admit I feel a wee bit sorry for her.

  7. i haven’t even read the whole post… but dove dark chocolate is my 2nd favorite… next to ice… i’m just sayin’… k… going to finish reading now

  8. Thanks for the laugh!!
    Typing with your eyelashes….

    KFed and Shar and that skank Britney – can someone please explain the attraction to me???

    Happy elopment day!!

  9. hey chica, happy elope-aversary

    If I knew in advance I would have bought you something… like a real loaf of bread or something.
    You know~ I’m sweet like that.

  10. I missed the amusement that you bring me from just reading your posts! I saw the commerical for Dove Chocolate too, I didn’t put two and two together though. I just thought that it was a different company called Dove. I’m glad they didn’t say anything like “From the creators of Dove Soap, we bring you…Dove Chocolate” or then I would feel really stupid, but I’m 99.9% sure they didn’t.

    And Kfed knocked up his ex again? Wow. I did not know that. You are more informative then a gossip magazine!

    Congrats on eloping, tomorrow I turn 18! YAY! Legal to…buy scratch cards. Awesome.

  11. Good Morning ..You’ve been Tagged!

  12. Dove chocolate is the shiznit, and here in the southernly neighbor place they even make icecream that has got a thick layer of Dove chocolate on the top. Like you gotta crack the chocolatey goodness in order to get the frozen dessert. Shameless.

    Britney’s va-jay-jay is one thing—worse is her cottage cheese ass.





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