Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Did you ever murmugerhger….

September 26, 2007

…that’s my mumbling typing up there by the way. What I was asking was, did you ever talk to someone who sounds like they have a mouth full of shit and can’t really speak in a clear, coherent way? I experienced that this morning. I’m not saying the chick actually had poo in her mouth, I mean if she did, whatever floats yer back teeth but honestly, I couldn’t understand a word she said. I was at a certain establishment which I won’t name incase they’re all sitting around reading this, which of course they probably are because I’m so popular and famous and I doubt they have anything better to do. I was placing my order and she was asking me something and I had no clue what she was asking. Her lips were barely moving. Maybe she was training to be a ventriloquist? That’s admirable but really, I hardly think the time or place to practice is while waiting on customers. Just sayin’ is all.

I had the weirdest dream last night which I won’t bother boring you with. Wait. You wouldn’t be bored. You pray by your laptop each night that you’ll wake up to me having written to brighten your day. I get confused sometimes. So I was running in the dream and there were these creepy clowns chasing me, wanting me to try some of their spagetti. I like spagetti, however, I’m not trying food from clowns that I just don’t know. Even in my dreams, I’m a genius. That’s about it. There may have been some kinky stuff involved later on but really, that’s not something you want to hear. Let’s not get nuts here.

I got in my husband’s truck this morning and the smell that slapped me in the face was horrid. I thought something had perhaps died in there over the last couple of days. I hadn’t been in it since Monday and didn’t recall having any dead bodies in there at that time but sometimes I get forgetful, so maybe I, er, just forgot. Anyway, I’m trying really hard to place the smell but it was escaping me. I hadn’t had any takeout in there, so I knew it wasn’t rotting food. Neither of the kids had puked in there, so I also knew it wasn’t stale chunks just lying around. I happened to glance down at the floor on the passenger side and see something wet. Then I see the empty bottle on the floor as well. What was in that empty bottle? Mouthwash. Who knew that something you swish around in your mouth to make your breath smell super nice, could smell so putrid after being spilled out onto a truck floor? Certainly not I. I can’t even describe the odour. Just that it was gross. So guess who’s going to have to clean the truck out? Yup, you got it. Not me. I’m too busy anyway as I’m still thinking about the painting I have to get done downstairs by Saturday. Do you realize how much work it is to think and think and think? I didn’t think so. Oh see that? See my big word play with the word think? Impressed aren’t you? You should hear me talk. You’d be awed by my fantastic word speak but I don’t wanna toot my own horn. You’d be tooting it for me. Ha.

Posted by Sassy @ 11:37 amI want to Punch You in the Neck,Just Stuff.6 comments  

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6 Responses to “Did you ever murmugerhger….”

  1. I try to explain to my hubby everyday how much work is to think and how exhausting it is, he does not get it, glad someone else does!

  2. How strange – my daughter is in training to become a clown…and last week, she spilled mouthwash in my car. It really does smell horrible. I thought a drunk had passed out in there.

  3. The creepy clowns don’t want you to EAT the spaghetti. They want to put it in your shoes and pants pockets.

  4. Ugh, there’s nothing more annoying than someone working in the service industry who mumbles! If your job is to help me, then you need to speak clearly and with enough volume to be heard.

    Clowns and spaghetti? Wow, I have no idea what that means, but I would have told them no, too.

  5. Hey, I have a Perfect Post button to award you – but I need to send it to your email address (it’s in a word doc). At any rate, please go see Kimberly or Lindsay’s sites (http://www.petroville.com or http://suburbanturmoil.blogspot.com) for more info!

    Thanks for the laugh(s)!

  6. I just read your Sept.6 column which won you a Perfect Post award. I agree with the nominator: That was a gas!





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