Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
It’s all about….

October 2, 2007

….I wish I could say me, but unfortunately, my delusions fame has gone by the wayside while everyone focuses on Britney Smears, er, Spears and how she lost her kids to some guy named Carl Jr. or some such silliness. Then she wore a short skirt to a motel (maybe to secretly meet this Carl Jr dude) without any underwear on and drank milkshakes while applying for her California drivers permit. At least that’s my version of the events. Cheery-O.

Yesterday was October 1st and I’m still wondering what happened to September? I sorta, kinda remember it and I was sure I was experiencing it, and then all of a sudden, boom, October comes around like a needy child. A spoiled needy child, that’s all, look at me, how I snuck in while you were drunk busy painting that I techincally haven’t started. We could get snow here at any time. Snow. As in white powder not to be confused with the stuff that Britney snorts up her schnoz, just reporting the facts people, just reporting the facts that supposedly some people like strapping on long, skinny boards and racing down big, giant hills on. Who are these people? We apparently call them ski-ers. I call them LUNATICS. I went cross-country skiing once and that’s about all I want to divulge about that. Let’s just say it involved paramedics and whiskey. Oh and stitches. And a bare ass. I’ve said too much all ready.

I have started my Christmas shopping. Yes, contain your excitement as your mind is probably blown right now. I tend to do that to people, in more ways than one, if you know what I mean, wink, wink. I can’t say what I purchased because if any of my loved ones decide to torture themselves come and read, then they would find out what I bought for them. I will give some hints though. I’m not totally heartless. Let’s see, shiney, smallish, sorta big, compact, kinda black, inexpense but looks expensive, fits in a box, probably would fit in a bag, looks flashy, people will be jealous, everyone has one, you won’t find it in Canada, made in China, made in the USA, made right here in Alberta, doesn’t talk, makes some sound, is red, has fuzzy spots on it, was on clearance, you will LOVE it. There. Something for everyone. I always deliver. You can count on that.

I had a conversation yesterday with Bill. Or Bob. Or Doug. Or Steve. Or Dylan. Or Brandon. Or Kevin. I’m not sure, because he never said his name and it happened to be a wrong number. I love those.

Hello?

Hey!

Hi?

How ya doin’?

I’m fine thanks, you? No clue who this is but playing it cool because that’s they way I play.

I’m good, good. I picked up that thing, just wanted to give you a head’s up.

Oh. Oh? That thing?

Ya, you know, what Will and I talked about the other day.

Will?

Ya. So hopefully she likes it because I don’t think I can take it back.

Hopefully.

Ya, so anyway, just wanted to let you know.

Okay.

You okay? You sound kinda outta of it.

Oh yes, I’m just fine.

Hmmm. Anyway, gotta run.

Sure, run like the wind.

Wha….?

Click. Ha. Take that. I’m still wondering what it is he bought and for whom but oh well, he can’t take it back, so maybe it’s something ‘personal’ if you get my drift. You get my drift right? Right.

Okay I’m off to shower. Shower the world with my fantasticness….yes it’s a word, MY word. Word conneisure at your service.

Posted by Sassy @ 11:15 amJust Stuff.,NonsenseNo comments  

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