October 30, 2007
I love Halloween. By love, I mean, who invented it? Who came up with the tradition to take huge, orange vegetables and cut the tops of them off, scoop out the enormous amounts of stringy shit and seeds and then attempt to be ‘artistic’ on the surface of them? Huh? Who? I’d like to
slap thank them hard.
I decided that my 2 youngest children needed five pumpkins as opposed to just one each. Who buys 5 pumpkins? Someone who seemed to forget just from last Halloween how absolutely fun it is to carve pumpkins. Wow. She sounds like a moron.
By the time I was done carving the said 5 pumpkins, my hands looked like I got into Lindsay Lohan’s medicine cabinet. No, no, no, not like all white n’ powdery and stuff, but orange. My hands honestly looked like I’d had a bad fight with a huge bottle of self tanner. I was day-glowing. They’re still slightly ‘tanned’ today even after showering. Not the most attractive look.
As for the pumpkins, I might take pictures of them tomorrow night when they are all lit up and glowing and share them with you because I know ya’ll (my tribute to Britney) be waiting for them. I have nothing else to say, so I’m going to go eat a pumpkin.