October 23, 2007
For the last few days, we’ve been telling our youngest children that ‘daddy’s new worker, Bubba, is coming for a visit’. Who we were referring to, was our oldest son moving back here for the next few months to work. However, we wanted to surprise the kids, so we didn’t tell them, instead, made up a fictional dude named Bubba.
I had it all planned out, bought my son fake black mustache and sideburns, gave my husband (who was picking him up from the airport) a black hat to give him so he could cover his red hair as that would be a dead giveaway for the kids and told him (son) not to wear a familiar jacket or shirt etc. I envisioned ‘Bubba’ coming in (and I was videotaping it) and we’d make a whole production out of it, the kids would ask Bubba questions (and Bubba was a hick from somewhere) and it would be this funny, fabulous video, so funny infact, that we’d send it in to America’s Funniest Home Videos and win the $10,000 grand prize. Perhaps a bit of a stretch in my overactive imagination but hell, one can fantasize right? Right.
Husband and Bubba arrive, I have the video camera all poised and ready to go, signal them to come in and my daughter runs to the door because all evening she’d been peppering me with ‘Bubba’ questions. “Where’s he from? Why is he a hick? Does he have yucky teeth? Is he married? Does he have a car? A girlfriend? Is he cute or ugly”? Oh the questions kept coming. She runs to the door excitedly and in walks Bubba, wearing his familiar hat, red hair sticking out, familiar orange hoody, familiar jeans and workboots and although he did put on the fake mustache and sideburns it was not enough with every single freakin’ thing else looking much the same as when he left half a year ago. Therefore, immediately, my child says, ummm you’re not Bubba, you’re Sean. Well duh.
Was it too much to ask for husband and son to put the getup on as instructed? No, it was not. So, it was basically a half assed effort and of course he was instantly recognized. Then, then, then to top it off, my youngest son wasn’t even in the room, which I thought he was. No. He was on the toilet, so my oldest runs up (ah not even going for the pun there) and peeks in and surprises the crap (ah ahem, er, nevermind) out of my youngest boy, who just stares at him in shock. It was a priceless moment for sure, however, it’s not one that I’m going to share with the world, since my child might not appreciate the fact that his mother is videotaping this wonderous event, you know, with the whole toilet issue thing happening.
Next time some child of mine or any other relative, is coming for a visit/stay, and I want to make it some big surprise, I’m going to make sure I’m the one who goes to pick up said person so I can dress them appropriately for the whole, you know, SURPRISE factor and fantastic video capture moment. Geez. If you want something done right, such as shocking the shit outta your family, let the crazy bitch woman do it.
