Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
I’m an idiot.

February 10, 2008


Every Friday night, we usually go to a particular restaurant with all 4 kids. Since both of our vehicles are only five passenger, some of us go in hubby’s truck and the rest of us go in my SUV. However, sadly the story doesn’t end there.

It’s been bitterly cold here for a few days. When it’s bitterly cold, we plug our vehicles in. Again, sadly, story doesn’t end here either.

My husband and Matt, leave in the truck. Myself and the 3 other kids are a few minutes from going out the door. I start the SUV, run back in and get the two younger kids ready to leave. The four of us head out into the cold. I pull away from the front of our house, leave the cul-de-sac and drive down the street to the first stop sign. As I approach the stop sign, I look in my rear view mirror, and see another car behind me. I’m not quite to a complete stop yet but the driver starts blowing his horn. I’m thinking what a moron. Get a life buddy, I’ve not even stopped yet. And if he thinks I’m going to do one of those lame, half assed rolling semi stops, he can forget it. I’m stopping.

I make a right turn, head down to the lights. Buddy is following me, I guess going in the same general direction. As I’m approaching the lights, which are red for me, dude behind me starts blowing the horn. I’m slightly annoyed by this. Does he think I’m going to run the red light. Not happening shit head.

What is his freakin’ problem? I ask my oldest son.

I dunno. Want me to give him the finger?

No. He might have a gun.


He might have a gun and get pissed off if we flip him off and shoot us.

Oh my god, paranoid much?

You just never know.

The light turns green and guy starts blowing his horn. Holy, what is his PROBLEM? It’s snowing out, roads are slippery and I’m being cautious but not driving that slow. Buddy needs to flippin’ chill.

I go through the green light and glance to my right and horn blower extraordinaire is beside me and this maniac is waving his fist around at me. Had I not had my children with me, not been driving a new-ish vehicle and had a wee bit more balls, I would have rammed my SUV against his shitty little beater.

My son is getting annoyed right along with me.

What is buddy’s prob?

I don’t know but he needs to get a life and stop harrassing me.

Hey, at the next red light, make sure you blow your horn if we’re behind him, you know, piss him off right back.

Okay, I’m not doing that. Again, he could have a gun and shoot us in the face through his back window.

Of course.

Crazy guy passes me, is now ahead of us at the next red light. I decide not to blow my horn, um, yes because I think he’s packing and is going to go all Clint Eastwood on our asses. We arrive at the restaurant, hubs and son arrive shortly after. We relay the story of a-hole blowing his horn, being totally obnoxious, waving his arms/fist around and tell the incident with great disgust for this guy. We eat our meal, which was yummy by the way and head home.

My husband goes out this morning to warm up his truck to take our sons to work. He comes back in and we have a conversation. This is going to be the part, where it may seem like I’m an idiot.

Hey, where’s my extension cord?

What extension cord?

Ah the one I use to plug in the vehicles.

Well the one you use for the truck hangs over the fence, so if it’s gone, then some asswipe stole it! Nice. Why do people feel the need to take other people’s stuff? Geez.

Um, the one I use for the truck is there, my truck was plugged in. I’m talking about the other one – the one that we plug the SUV in with.

The SUV?

Yes, the SUV.

Well duh, why would I take a big extension cord. I don’t need one. Why would I take it?

Well it’s not outside, plugged into the house. I plugged the SUV in yesterday, before we went out.

You did?

Yes, I did. I told you I did. And didn’t we just have this conversation a few days ago about you FORGETTING to unplug your vehicle before driving away? And how you wouldn’t do that? Remember?

Yes. Um, are you saying I possibly, maybe drove away with the car plugged in?

That’s what I’m saying. Perhaps buddy, who was being obnoxious wasn’t being obnoxious and maybe he was blowing his horn several times, waving his arms, his fists, blowing his horn some more, trying to get your attention because you were driving down the street DRAGGING A FIFTY FOOT BRIGHT YELLOW EXTENSION CORD BEHIND YOU.

Oh. I see where you’re going with that theory.

Ya, I don’t think it’s a theory, I’m pretty sure it’s a reality.


Ya, oops.

See? Idiot. And I’m not talking about the dude blowing his horn. If you happen to see a big yellow extension cord out on your travels, um, it’s mine.

Posted by Sassy @ 2:48 amEmbarrassing,I want to Punch You in the Neck4 comments  

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4 Responses to “I’m an idiot.”

  1. Oh, don’t you hate when someone comes along and pops your balloon of self-righteousness! Leave it to someone to be doing a kind and neighborly thing like that to ruin your day! :)

    I shouldnt laugh too hard though….I actually did that a few times and even in the school bus….lmao

  3. At least it wasn’t your purse! My mom left hers on top of her car, when I was younger, and we both had to grab all the stuff that had fallen out of her purse, which was scattered all over the road!

    I too, have done that too..

  4. laughing very hard.
    very very hard.

    thinking he was all clint on your ass! so so funny. don’t be so hard on yourself…i would have flipped him off and made an even BIGGER idiot of myself!

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