Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
How to guarantee a spot in your mother’s will.

April 20, 2008

I should have known better when I looked in the bathroom cabinet, that the box was empty. I thought it was a brand new box. When I opened it and realized, to my horror, that it indeed was empty, panic set in. I run downstairs and my oldest son is sitting on the couch, watching television. I begin my schpeal.

You know what brings a mother and a son closer together?

Um, no?

And it also guarantees a spot in her will.

Um, okay? What?

They will know it’s not for you.

Who? What?

I need something from the store.

Okay, what?

You like driving your new car right?


Well then, here’s a perfect opportunity for you to drive that shiney new car.

Wanna spill it already?

I need tampons.

Oh no, that’s not happenin’.

But I need them.

I don’t buy those for anyone. No way.

The cashier will assume they’re for someone other than you – you know since you don’t have a vagina.

Not doing it. I will drive Matt over and he can go in.

Fine then.

I approach my youngest son and ask him if he could run down and tell Matt to come upstairs, that it’s an emergency. He jumps up and races down to get Matt.

Matt comes running up, a look of panic on his face. I begin my schpeal with him.

You know what brings a mother and a son closer together?

Uh, no?

When a son walks into a store and buys his gorgeous (just adding an adjective for a more interesting story) mother a box of tampons.



Geez, Ryan came downstairs and said there was an emergency – I ran up here thinking someone was, I dunno, bleeding!

*Crickets* The room went silent.

He soon realized that his words, couldn’t have been more true. I assured him, that he’s definitely in my will.

Posted by Sassy @ 12:49 pmEmbarrassing,Kids11 comments  

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11 Responses to “How to guarantee a spot in your mother’s will.”

  1. OMG!!! ROFLMAO!!! I wish my kids could drive and get them… I know Hubby would have NO clue what to get…
    Way to go Matt!!
    Hope your feeling better too hun!!!

  2. OMG!!! I’ve had a hysterectomy, so I’m trying to think of something really embarrassing I can send my kids to the store for when they can drive. Condoms? No, chances are they will have already done that (I’m a realist!) Oh….definitely a laxative or Preparation H or something.

  3. Oh once I’m done with uh, tampons, I’ll be finding new and improved ways to get them. Ha!

  4. LMAO thanks for the laugh this morning….I can see the horror on their faces:)

  5. LMAO!!! OMG….I can just picture their faces when you asked them! LOL David goes and gets themfor me when I need them. But thats my hubby and not my son. So, did he go get them?

  6. I can totally picture their faces too. ROFL!

  7. Ha! It might guarantee them a spot in your will, but it will also guarantee you a spot in a crappy nursing home. ;)

  8. My hisband totally gets them for me. I had a few guys who would not EVEN walk down that aisle in the store! So stupid. I think a man is MORE manly and down to earth when he buys those for his girl.
    And hey, it means he HAS a girl, that’s good, right?

  9. This is a great story.. I had a guy say once to me in the aisle “so many choices, how do you ever choose?” Except that I was there to get something else. A flush. Anyways, I was just a little bit creeped out. I always hated buying anything menstruation related. Yea for LunaPads.

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