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Desperate Housewives Finale – WTF?

May 19, 2008

I love me some Desperate Housewives. I’m glad my life isn’t quite as complicated as theirs but I sure like living it vicariously through my TV every Sunday at 7 p.m.

Last night’s finale – well let me just say I am not a happy camper. If you’ve not watched it yet because you were too drunk (on a Sunday? Nice.) and have it ready to go on Tivo, skip on out because I’m discussing what happened and the ending – which I HATED by the way.

Okay nutjob Kayla (Yes it’s not nice to call kids names but I am anyway) was sent packing after Tom had the psychologist listen in on the conversation where Kayla admits to Tom she had made the stories up about Lynette. Bah bye. Is anyone going to get this kid help? Who knows, because she’s not coming back to the show next season. I’m a tad concerned we’re left hanging about Lynette and Tom’s boys SETTING FIRE TO A RESTAURANT. Oh that little thing? Nah, we’ll just move on. Sure it’s a show, but OMG come on.

Seriously, could Susan be any more dense? Maynard is a ridiculous name (no offense to anyone named Maynard) and Connor is a cute name – why couldn’t Susan, as a mom with a new, sweet baby, put her foot down and say to Mike, we’ll name our son Connor and his MIDDLE name can be Maynard. Or don’t people have middle names on Wisteria Lane? Duh. I want to smack her sometimes.

I was very upset when we found out that Dylan (well the real Dylan) accidently died when she tried to retrieve a doll that her mother (Katherine) had put up on a book shelf and the book shelf fell on her. And what does Katherine do? Oh she and her aunt bury the kid in the woods. Then Katherine goes to a Romanian orphanage and just gets a Dylan look-a-like to fill her place. Ya, that’s what most moms would do. Again, it’s a show and usually I go with the flow, but really, that was so…cold?

Bree still won’t forgive Orson for trying to run Mike over (well she does in the “flash forward show”) and that makes me laugh because didn’t Bree’s kid run over Carlos’ mother way back when and the woman died? She didn’t have any problem with that little detail. Ya, Mike didn’t even die Bree – so why not take Orson back? Pot, meet the kettle. Ya. The whole pot and the kettle thing. Get my drift Bree?

Katherine shoots Wayne – Fake Dylan forgives her mother for lying (she’s not coming back to next season’s show) and all the ladies from Wisteria Lane cover for Katherine, so she’s in, she’s one of them now, which I liked. Nothing says friendship more than getting help from your neighbors after you’ve shot your abusive ex-husband kind of illegally.

Where the hell was Edie? She’s apparently leaving the show but last weeks episode was our final goodbye to the bitch? Say it isn’t so! We need a bitch (well Gabby’s a bitch, but a princess bitch and that’s different). We need us some conniving Edie! Please give us more Edie, even just a smidge.

I have to say I was not happy about the five years into the future. I know a lot of people LOVED it, but I HATED it. Tom and Lynette have raised delinquents (no shit) and we see at least two of their boys are in trouble with the law. Gee maybe it’s the fact that you two let your boys get away with burning down a building? Just grasping at straws. But hey, at least Tom and Lynette are still together.

Hopefully Bob and Lee will be back next season – those two crack me up. Love them. Bree managed to pull off their committment ceremony. Of course she did!

Bree is some sort of Martha Stewart-like big wig with a tight bun and business suit, and her son is perhaps her assistant/manager? That totally seems like it’s a good fit and we know that she’s back with Orson because in their final scene, he’s upstairs “drawing” her a bath. That made me happy. I mean if you can forgive your kid for a hit and run (and killing an old woman), then you can damn well forgive your husband for an attempted hit and run murder scenerio. Totally.

Katherine’s fake Dylan gets engaged (we hear it on the phone) but she’s not returning to Wisteria Lane. Katherine will be back next season but not sure if Adam will be a part of her life.

Gabby has packed on some weight and has a couple of kids – who are not what you’d expect Gabby’s kids to be (perfect right?) – should be funny BUT they have to put Gabby back to her usual princess/wench/bitch self because sorry, someone like Gabby isn’t going to start wearing sweatpants and let her hair go. Not happening. I want my princess back. Not that I can relate to the princess thing. Absolutely I can.

Susan’s daughter Julie, is off to Princeton and off the show. She’s not coming back next season. Hard to say how Susan will do without her – she’s a bumbling idiot without the help of her 18-year-old daughter normally, so does this mean Susan will be even dumber next season?

And the kicker? Susan walks in her front door, exclaims to her honey she’s home and some dude that ISN’T Mike starts kissing her (guy from Queer As Folk). That, I did NOT like one little bit. And where’s the baby with the awful name? Where’s little Maynard, who’d be five now? Did he and Mike die in a car crash (I will HATE it if that’s true), did Mike get hooked on prescription drugs again? Did he go to jail? Not a happy camper. I get that the writers wanted to stir things up – but hello? You CAN’T get rid of Mike. Well you can, it’s your show, but I highly recommend against it. The fans want Mike!

There you have it, we have to wait until September to find out if this was all some sort of dream, or if we get to see what happened in those five years or if we just start fresh from the five years. I want answers dammit! I’m highly impatient I tell you!

Here’s a vid of the last few minutes – I’m not watching it again because the whole ‘Susan is kissing someone other than Mike’ is pissing me off.

Happy Monday.

Posted by Sassy @ 11:33 amTelevision Drivel19 comments  

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19 Responses to “Desperate Housewives Finale – WTF?”

  1. Like you I was totally blown away and upset over the ending last night. Shocked was more the word.

    I hated to say it “but so glad the evil spawn child left, and was crying”. I would have done more than slap the thang. I know just a show so I can get away with saying and thinking that evil thought myself.

    My chin fell to the floor when seeing someone else kissing Susan. I kept thinking to myself “maybe it’s Mike being played by another actor”? But that would not be the same for me. I want Mike back too.

    Gabby looks horrid. Funny that her kids aren’t perfect but I want Gabby in all her sassiness back to.

    Overall I enjoyed the entire show but was stunned to see it fast forward to five years down the road. To much fast forwarding for my likes.

  2. The only thing that really bugged me about the ending was Lynette’s hair. I guess I’m more tolerant than you. Ha ha ha!

  3. Yup I agree – evil spawn gone, yay!

    Karen, I KNOW – her hair was awful! Gabby’s was horrid too and that bothered me more…hahaha.

  4. I was unhappy with the way the flash forward looked, but I was sort of happy they got there without us having to sit through all the babies. I have 4 kids, and I have to say my social life when they were tiny was pretty boring! I know it’s a show and they could have made it interesting, but I’m thinking we should be happy if they skip past all of them at the moms of babies stage. But Gabby’s kids looked sort of old for it only being 5 years ahead. Pregnancy takes time and those kids looked older than 4, don’t you think? I wasn’t happy about the Mike situation either, but I guess we’ll see what they do with it all and then I will make my final decision (as if anyone really cares what I think about it anyway though, right?)

  5. I agree Tori, that Gabby’s kids looked a bit too old for 5 years later – but again, it’s a show. Look at soap operas, kids age 25 years in 3 years but their parents don’t. Ha! And no matter what, I’m going to be pissed about Mike! LOL

  6. I just finished surfing the web to find responses and am so glad that I am not alone. Thank you all for your insights and your criticisms.

    I am through with this show!
    I know patience is mentioned in this article and in the comments, yet for me it is about tolerance; I can’t TOLERATE ANYMORE.

    The fine recipe of the four women with the occassional scenes featuring Nicolete is terrific, yet the writers have made this a murder mystery show (how many people on this show have been murdered, HELLO APPLEWHITES).

    We were tricked instead of treated to a great ending. Goodbye my fav ladies who I love watching act but can not take these scripts anymore.

    Gabby’s kids looked like clowns.

    I guess those wonderful kids who play the children of Tom and Lynette are gone now. Hopefully Disney will pick them up.

    Gale Harold from Queer as Folk almost through me forward five years as I did not see that coming. The guy is terrific but unfortunately will be compared forever in to our Mike.

    I hated the entire ending except for one aspect not mentioned yet anywhere I have read regarding reviews of the show and that is this: I LOVED THE RELATIONSHIP we glimpsed between BREE AND HER SON. I love that the guy is working with his mother and they have reconciled which was only alluded too in this season.

    Thanks for letting me write so much. I had to get this off my chest.
    Oh hell. Who am I kidding? I hated it but I know I’ll tune in. It’ll always be a guilty pleasure and I’ll just have to hold on the little good that is left.
    Peace, Robert

  7. Hey Robert, I liked too that Bree and Andrew are close again, working together. I really, really, really hope it’s some sort of stupid dream thing (the 5 years gone by) but I have this feeling that it’s not. I could stomp my feet and say I won’t watch if they kill Mike etc, but I know myself, and I’ll tune in, even if to bitch about each week. LOL!

  8. I did not like that fast forward at all. So, are we going to have to watch everything in flashbacks now? That’s kind of annoying.

  9. Two quick things. In an interview while arriving for American Idol, Terry Hatcher said of her character Susan, “I really have this feeling in my gut that Susan and Mike are meant to be together. Mark (shows creator) is just trying to keep it all interesting.” Hmmmm.
    Well it isn’t.
    Finally, I forgot one of the main reasons I hated the last episode and it hit me again yesterday. The entire ridicule of the gay couple. We see Tom who had an affair and kept it a secret and added to it by keeping his child’s existence a secret, giving advice to the gay couple. Tom? With his background? I loved what he said and it was moving, but TOM? Maybe he is growing a pair. However, why reduce the gay guy to tears over an ice sculpture? Their entire commitment was all written as a joke. Just rude. These guys deserved better.
    Sassy, glad you liked what I said about Bree and Andrew. What are your thoughts of the gay couple and what I just said? Anyone? Take care.

  10. Oh my god! The fake Dylan baby version was soooo cute!

  11. I pray to the media gods that it was just some weird, sick dream…because if that’s the road they take, I think they’re making a HUGE mistake. Although I really liked Bree’s scenario, and that Katherine has officially joined the poker game, everything else was terrible. Not just terrible in an almost-unconceivable way, but terrible in a how-the-hell-did-this-happen way.
    Please let it be a joke…I was really happy with all the rest of the episode. My mom was crying tears of joy…and stopped dead in her tracks with the fast-forward.

  12. R u sure that wasnt the finale of the whole show

  13. I totally agree with you about everything! My biggest problem was that ‘who the heck is Susan kissing thing’!!! And yes, wtf is with that 5 years in the future crap?! I had to watch it twice, because I just kept going ‘what is going on’?!?! I do think you forgot one thing… what is up with Lynette’s future hair?! Dang that was ugly!! Also, why are Gabby’s kids such porkers? Yea, not a happy camper! I hope the writers surf around to hear what “the people” have to say, because they took a wrong turn here and need to fix it!!

  14. Mischff: I come here every now and then to see if anyone else has written anything. I can’t believe I still think about this show during off season. It was on tonight. I did not watch as I have seen the episdoes and don’t need the reruns. I’m still upset with the ending. BUT, I have to tell you, you took the words out of my mouth regarding the writers and hoping they read what we the people/viewers/actreses and writers bread and butter (that’s who we are) write here. I hope they read it. Here and other places. They have lost touch.
    I too was wondering why Gabby who is THIN (too much so IMO) would have little ones with body fat at such a young age. Lynette’s hair gave me consideration that hair design is not a career choice for the future as it is evident by her and Gabby and kids, that SALONS have closed. Mabe the economy is as bad as the gas. I don’t know. Hmmmmmmm.
    Take care. Robert

  15. Lynette’s hair was awful..haha. No woman I know would wear that hairstyle! And although we can’t always control our children’s bodies per se, Gabby’s “kids” seem a bit overweight for being so young – as if Gabby would contribute to that. She’s too vain, she’d definitely make sure they ate well inorder not to be fat. Okay, sure, it’s a SHOW, and we all probably shouldn’t CARE, but dammit, I do…lol

  16. And they’d better bring Edie back – we needs us a big time bitch!

  17. WTF?

    i totally agree with you. i can’t believe that bree has such a problem forgiving orson when her son did basically the same thing.. except which is worse? doing it on purpose and the victim living, or doing it by negligence and the victim dying? in both cases they knew the victim and their family and covered it up. and what about deceiving everyone about the baby?? all of this is so warped and i totally love it. but i think the writers had a big brain fart with bree having moral issues with orson… note to writers, go back a few pages and read over your storyline??? hello!! consistency?

    here’s something else, what about carlos? where was he in the flash forward? is he still blind? are they still married? i’m going to be pissed if they aren’t after all this breaking up and getting back together and him being blind. how do they go through so much money? didn’t they have millions 3 weeks ago?

    there was something really different about susan too.. not to mention her kissing another man, but she had this slutty sultry strut to her when she came in the door. not like her usual “can’t live on my own” personality.

    i’d love to know what happened with the boys, and if lynette and tom got off scott-free with the whole restaurant fire.

    that little girl reminded me a lot of “the omen.” glad that psycho alien child is gone!

  18. I agree Edie must COME BACK!!!!!

    I will never be able to take Gale Harold serious as love interest for Susan as he was always naked lying with men on Queer as Folk. I have no problem with that part but when he says he is straight, it is hard to believe. He may be, but that show went so overboard constantly with the sex (no problem with it, hell I loved it) and I find it hard to believe any straight man would do those scenes and kissing full throttle over and over. At what point does it become uncomfortable. I for one could not do a scene like that over and over with, say, Rosie O’Donnell. Antonio Sabator Jr, yes!!! Hell to the yes!

    Susan is to be with Mike. Who does not want that.

    And yes good ridance little bitch child of Tom’s. I have never called a child such a name but it is fitting as this child is the seed of Chucky. No doubt.

    I can’t believe I still have to come here and write about all this. Where or where do I go to get a life? LOL. Take care. Robert

  19. [...] of CSI – is leaving the show! Yes, William Petersen is saying goodbye. This is just like the weird bullshit that’s happening on Wisteria Lane. And I don’t like it one [...]

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