Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Remembering my daughter.

June 11, 2008

Nine years ago – seems like a lifetime ago, and yet, other times, it feels like yesterday. My daughter Angela passed away on June 11, 1999.

I think of her often, see her in the blooming flowers, in a fluffy cloud, in a tiny raindrop or feel her presence in a warm summer’s breeze. Although the pain has subsided and I can talk about her without feeling overwhelmed, there are times when my tears will fall, unexpectedly, surprising me. Losing a child is not something you ever, truly get over. You always feel it, live it, sometimes can’t really believe that it happened to you. But it did.

Later, today, when all is quiet, I will open her tiny hopechest of memories, write in the journal that was given to me by my sister-in-law, a journal that I write in every year on this day. I share my thoughts with her, let her know what’s happening in our lives, how much I miss her and let her know I will see her again one day. I look at her pictures, read the cards given to us, touch the handmade gifts made by my nieces and nephews, and hold her tiny dress and bonnet, and remember the last time I saw her and held her close. I will thank her, for because of her death, 14 months later, our second daughter, Madison was born. Her birth was bitter sweet, but she was very much wanted and I believe that part of Angela’s soul lives in Maddy.

Today Angela, you would be nine-years-old and I picture you with long, red hair, a spattering of freckles across your nose like all of your siblings, and a smile that would light the darkest day. One day I will hold you again, be well my sweet baby, and I love you.

Posted by Sassy @ 12:03 amKids,Semi Serious3 comments  

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3 Responses to “Remembering my daughter.”

  1. You know I am here for you always and how I think you are amazing…much love & peace to you today.

  2. I can never, ever imagine losing a child. I have a hard time imagining it even happening to anyone, anywhere. Children should not die.

  3. {{hugs}}

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