Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
This ISN’T Starbucks.

September 18, 2008

It has been fairly hot here for the last few days. On Tuesday, after picking my children up from their respective bus stop and school, I decided I would treat myself to a strawberries n’ cream from Starbucks. My favourite drink ever. I don’t get them very often because, well, they have a habit of making one’s ass bigger. And some of us just don’t want a bigger ass.

I went through the drive-thru, and after a minute or so, it was my turn to order. I was told that they were out of the mix to make the strawberry frapps. What????? Are you kidding me? No. Sadly they were not. Fine, I would make my way to another similar place – it’s not Starbucks, but they do have a chocolate ice frapp that is good – not as good as the strawberries n’ cream but close enough to satisfy my craving.

I, once again decided on the drive-thru. I placed my order of one small drink and one chocolate chip cookie. My son had a craving as well it seemed. The girl taking my order had to ask me again, she didn’t quite hear me, so I repeated myself, slowly and loudly.

I get up to the window to pay, girl takes my money – it came to over $8! Holy shit, what kind of cookie am I getting? The drink is just over $3, so a frigging cookie is $5 bucks? I hope it does my laundry too.

I’m handed my change and then I wait. And wait, and wait, and wait. For TEN MINUTES. I can see into the coffee shop – there are no other customers, and three girls working. How long does it take to make a frapp? A minute, two at the most? Finally, one of the girls comes over and asks me if I want cream on the drink. Duh. If I’m going to enlarge my ass, I may as well do it in style.

She hands me my drink. I’m thinking I’ll be there for another 30 seconds or so because really, how long does it take to put a chocolate chip cookie into a bag? Well it takes ANOTHER TEN MINUTES. I’m starting to get a little impatient and even my kids are wondering if they’re actually BAKING the cookies right then and there.

What takes place next baffles my mind. The sheer stupidity is only something I can experience. I swear I’m wearing a huge sign that says ‘abuse me with your stupidity, please, I beg you.’

Finally, one of the girls comes over. I don’t see a bag with a cookie in it, in her hand. I’m trying hard not to punch her in the neck.

Um, do you want cream on it?

Cream on it?

Ya, cream on top.

On my cookie? Um, no, thanks


Yes, my cookie – I don’t want cream on it. Thanks.

Cookie? What do you mean?

I ordered a chocolate chip cookie.

Uh, this ISN’T Starbucks.


This ISN’T Starbucks. *Says with disgust*

I know it’s not Starbucks.

We don’t have those drinks.

Drinks? I ordered one drink, which I got and a chocolate chip cookie.

A chocolate chip cookie?

Yes. A cookie. With chocolate chips in it.

She stares at me like I’ve spewed pea soup and spun my head around.

I ordered a cookie.

A cookie? I’m not familiar with that drink.

Drink? It’s a COOKIE. I’m waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out at me with his crazy bullshit punking crap.

She then turns to the other two girls, dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asks what I ordered. Chick who insists on telling me that this isn’t Starbucks, over and over, says ‘she said a cookie.’

Finally, one of them clues in that I WANT A COOKIE. You know, A COOKIE.

She gets a cookie and puts it in a bag and hands it to me. It’s then I realize that the price they charged me, must have been for two drinks, one being a large. I nicely ask them if they did indeed charge me for two drinks.

Oh ya, we did.

Okay, we’ll I’d like a refund please, you know, the difference is fine.

Um, *giggles all around* we just started here like a week ago and our manager left us here and we don’t know how to return money.

Me *head exploding and punching all three of them in my mind*

You can’t give me my money back? I mean two or three bucks isn’t going to break me but I’m not paying five dollars for a cookie.

We don’t know how to do that. How about another cookie?

No thanks, I’d just like a refund.

*Giggles* We can’t give money back, we like, don’t know how.

Me *not giggling* I see. Do you have a card that you can give me with the managers name? Maybe he or she can give me a refund.

They all disappear, probably calling me names, although it was really me who should have been doing the name calling. Oh wait, I did.

They all three came back, with an 8×10 sheet of lined paper with a name scribbled on it and a barely readable phone number. Probably not even really the manager’s name. And probably their friend Tina’s phone number. I’m going to go in tomorrow and shake things up.

And yes, chickie poo, I know this ISN’T Starbucks. Damn straight.

Posted by Sassy @ 7:55 pmFood Disasters,I want to Punch You in the Neck3 comments  

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3 Responses to “This ISN’T Starbucks.”

  1. I don’t know how you held back from actually punching anyone in that situation.

  2. Oh Honey! You really do attract the worst customer service. We have a great little coffe kiask here called Cowgirl Coffee that does a great job. They don’t have all the extras that Starbucks have but they are pretty good. I forgot it wasn’t Starbucks and ordered a Venti and the girl said “Oh Honey, here we just call it the big assed size” Well at least they are honest. :)

  3. LOL @ big assed size…I love that size…haha

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